Expectations have been a big part of these past four months. Before leaving for Guatemala, before coming to Thailand, before anything I always make expectations.
Living a life these past four months and the next five where everything is laid out and chosen for you without any of your consent is kind of hard to do, but in the end you learn so much through what God has chosen for you, than you ever could have by choosing your own path.
Before we left Guatemala I was so pumped for Thailand, I had an idea of what we would be doing but did not really have the full picture of what our ministry would look like.
I kept imagining our team converting people, healing sicknesses, and saving woman from human trafficking. I was so on fire for the Lord and excited to come and nock down walls, bring the kingdom, and change lives.
All that quickly changed the first day we arrived to our new ministry.
We found ourselves in the middle of no where on a farm an hour away from the nearest city, with two squatty potties, cold showers, and lots of bug spray.
Later on we also learned that just like Guatemala we were going to be teaching english, doing construction, and farming.
Quickly I began to question why I was hear and what God was going to do with my team?
I had pictured us doing things like ministering to woman in bars who were victims of human trafficking, or street ministry, I pictured such a radically awesome and different ministry that God had waiting for us and felt like Guatemala was just preparing us for what God had to come.
“MY EXPECTATIONS WERE CRUSHED BECAUSE MY EXPECTATIONS WERE NOT GOD’S PLANS.”
The first couple of days I struggled so much. I put all of my faith in my own expectations and did not leave any room for what God actually had waiting for me.
It was hard to get out of my depressed attitude and realize how blessed I truly was being hear.
While reading one of my letters that my dad had written me, I was told to read Mathew 13:3-8 which is the parable of the sower.
Getting out my bible and reading this I began to have a different outlook on my ministry hear in Thailand.
Even though our ministries in Thailand and Guatemala had not changed that much and even though the ministry my team is doing hear is not what we had expected I know that God is still using us so much.
Before I left for this trip I was so excited to harvest plants and whitness people accepting God right in front of me. I got so excited to think about that experience.
Now that I am hear I am having to be continuously reminded that before any of those plants could have been harvested they had to have been planted and cared for.
Even though I am not harvesting hundreds of plants and experiencing a radical ministry like I expected I would be doing, God is still using my team to do so much of the grunt work.
Through simple things like teaching english, doing construction, and farming, I really do believe that we are plowing the fields planting seeds and watering theme to help grow future crops.
Through simple things like our conversations, happiness, energy and just simply by being hear and being a friend to all people, of all ages, of all nations, and tongues and by being who God made us to be and living out GOD’S PLANS for our future we are living out the parable of the sower everyday.
Not only that but God has given me so much comfort in knowing that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t need to be the ones to always harvest his crops and technically they are never fully harvested until they are united with him in heaven because we are always growing and always will be in a dirty mess of construction until the day we die.
“GOD IS NEVER DONE WORKING ON US.”
I realize that not every seed I plant will be harvested, not every seed will fall on good soil. That doesn’t matter God has a higher calling for us all, all we need to do is follow that calling and choose to believe. Believe that God does have the whole world in his hands and will use us to glorify his kingdom and bring all of those crops to join him in eternal glory.
Remember that we are also plants in growth and progress and we still stumble and fall, weeds still try to spring up around us, thorns still try to scorch our faith, others try to snatch us up from bearing roots and being with God. Yet God is are only protection and he will keep you in bloom as long as you always run to him.
Have faith in God like a mustard seed and realize the greatness that God has called you into and let your roots grow deep and produce crops a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.
GOD’S PLANS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN OUR EXPECTATIONS!
“BE STRONG AND TAKE HEART AND WAIT FOR THE LORD.” Psalms 27:14
