“Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” -Matthew 14:22-33
About a year ago, I would say that I was Peter on the boat, testing Jesus, and apprehensively obeying His command to come. With one foot out of the boat, I was reluctant to be all in and obediently walk in faith towards Him. I felt suffocated and confined to the cultural Christianity of college, and did not quite know how to wholeheartedly live for Him. I cared too much what others thought about me and, with fear, lived with one foot in the boat and one foot out, not trusting that what He had in store for me was enough.
This past summer, I finally began to put to both feet out onto the water and walk towards Jesus with courage. I listened to His call to come and tested the waters. There was still hesitation, but I was willing. For moments this past summer and fall I was walking like Peter, but then disbelief crept in, causing me to sink. Over and over I tried to walk; some attempts lasted longer than others. Since being on the WR, I am finally walking in trust on the water towards Jesus, listening to His command and going towards Him.
Now I want to be like Jesus. He goes to the mountain by himself to pray and spend time alone with the Father. I imagine that Jesus heard God say, “Go out onto the lake, and walk to the boat.” He didn’t question what He was told to do, He just obeyed. Jesus heard what was asked of Him, then walked out onto the water towards the boat without fear or distrust. I want to be like that — a person who fearlessly walks in faith and confidence, doing whatever the Lord asks of me. No doubt or distrust. Not only that, even beyond that, I want to be a person that calls others to walk out onto the water.
The steps He is calling me into right now is leading b-squad as a squad leader. I’m so excited for this new season of growth and strengthening, as well as one of walking with people into deeper growth towards Jesus.
