For weeks I have been dreading the daunting farewell that has been looming since the moment we arrived at Mi Casa. We found out that we would leave for Nicaragua at 3 in the morning on Thursday, so we planned to say our goodbyes on Wednesday evening.
The weekend before we left, we were blessed with an all girls retreat at a beautiful beach house a short walk from the ocean. We were able to reach a new level of depth with the girls as many of them opened up and, with the help of a translator, shared their testimonies with us. It was a beautiful bonding experience that gave us the opportunity to love them individually in new and personalized ways. At the same time we were able to speak truth over their beautiful and broken pasts. We laughed and cried, while loving one another well. At the beach we were also able to play really hard one last time and create beautiful memories. If ever there was a doubt that we were not all one big family, it was gone after the retreat.
For the next few days we tried to carry on with our ministry and finish up the things we were working on. Every time we left the house, whether it was to go downtown or walk across the street, we had to first console the girls holding one another, weeping over the thought of our absence which was becoming more permanent by the day. I had to make a deal with some of the girls that none of us were allowed to cry until we said goodbye on Wednesday night. It only partially worked.
On our last evening, my teammates and I walked into the house to see that the backyard had been transformed into a fancy farewell dinner. We each sat at our assigned seats and read the notes that were waiting for us as the children filled in the empty seats. The dinner started off with three traditional Salvadorian dances that the kids had prepared for us. Both precious and hilarious!
After the show we were presented with our beautifully and carefully prepared dinner, which was delicious. As we finished up we were called to the front of the tables to receive gifts that had been prepared for each of us– a bookmark with the children's names and a beautiful bracelet with our names. From there we went in to the living room where a thank you video I had been preparing with pictures from the entire month was played. As we watched the slideshow of pictures that were put together, we saw how much life there was at the home. The beauty of the smiles and the depth of the eyes told stories of times we spent together that will not easily be forgotten.
Looking around the room I saw that all of our arms were rapped around the children who had become our family. Each of us shook with the sobs of the children that we held. As the video came to a close, our fantastic contact, Bob, invited the children to say what was on their hearts as he translated. One by one the kids went around and expressed their love and appreciation for us. Each one spoke so eloquently and with such passion that our hearts ached at the thought of leaving. Melvin, the youngest of the boys, crawled into his dad's lap to speak to us. He blessed us genuinely, from his heart with his precious words and ended his short but sentimental speech with "amen".
After we all expressed our love for one another, we started the process of hugging and saying goodbye. I said goodbye to everyone but my brother Irving, who ran from me as I came to say goodbye to him. He returned shortly with a special present that he wanted to give me. From behind his back he pulled a small, beautiful pillow that he had sewn himself which read "I love Sage". The pillow has since become my most treasured item. As I said goodbye and turned to leave, Juancito, the second youngest of the boys, saw me and became very concerned with my tears. He stood up on a chair and put his hands behind my head while he spoke to me in his soft mumbled Spanish, pausing briefly to tuck my hair behind my ears, and ending by pulling me into a sweet, comforting hug.
Saying goodbye to that large, mismatched family is the hardest thing I have had to do since being on the race. I knew that goodbyes would be difficult, but I hadn't counted on us becoming family. It's amazing to me how quickly we fell in love with those children, and amazing how weeks later we can love them just as much, but from afar. They changed my life and touched my heart.
9 more months. 9 more goodbyes. 9 more opportunities for my life to be changed on this adventure.
