From the first moment I met him, when he heaved my enormous pack onto his tiny body, I knew that I loved him. His infectious giggle and cartoon-esque smile drew me in immediately. The joy that bubbled from every pore of his being was a magnet for my heart. Almost immediately he reciprocated my affection. That was all that it took for me to know that a little vacant space in my heart I hadn't realized existed was now filled by this small, beautiful human.
I learned from our contact the tragic story of abandonment and pain that has plagued my new brother for the majority of his life. After many intentional and difficult conversations, I somehow earned the right to hear the whole story from Irving himself. He shared with me his story in a number of different settings, each time giving more details in raw emotional honesty, as I continued to earn the knowledge of specifics from his past. It is an honor for me to know the events of his life, and an honor for me to be able to share them with you now.
I've been thinking for a while about how much his life has touched mine, and how much his story is worth hearing. I asked him last night if there was any way at all that I could share his life with my friends through my blog, and without hesitation he gave me permission. So here, my friends, is the story of my new brother.
Born into a family with an inadequate ability to care for him and his younger brother, Irving was sent to his first "home" at the age of 5. After being there for a while with his brother, a family from the States in search of a son fell in love with his brother and adopted him, leaving Irving behind, essentially alone. The adoptive parents were in search of a baby to complete their family, not a potentially damaged 5 year old.
So, by 5 years old, Irving was totally abandoned by his family, a unit intended to keep people safe and guard them from the harshness of the world. The idea of steady, reliable, intimate family has since become a luxurious dream.
At the first home, the woman in charge began to resent Irving for having to give him the care that a 5 year old requires. As a result, she lashed out at him, abusing him. She began throwing him against walls and whipping him when she became angry. Things became so bad that she eventually slashed his back, from shoulder to hip, with a machete.
Irving lifted his shirt, when he reached this part of his story, showing his scar from the incident. He explained how as he has grown, his scar has become smaller. It is only 8 inches now, where as a (younger) child, it had splayed across his entire back. A constant reminder of the past that he will never be able to forget.
After approximately one year at the first home, Irving, at the age of 6, was moved to his second home. He told stories about how some of the other children residing there had already been initiated into the gang life. He spoke about the problems that they caused and how they made it their goal to terrorize him. One day, the children in the gang were swimming in a pool and decided to torment Irving by dragging him into the pool. Their intentions were to drown him. The incident was so serious that a bystander had to dive in and pull Irving out, giving him mouth to mouth to resuscitate him.
By the time that he was 6 years old, he had almost died twice. Both times in places where he was supposed to be living in community, with a makeshift family. Safe.
The only way for you to truly understand the pain that this boy has experienced is to see his face as he recalls the events from his past, ending finally with his transfer to his third and final home, here at Mi Casa Kids, at the age of 7. And the only way for you to truly understand how much his story has turned from one of ultimate suffering to one of victory is to see the person that he has become.
After he told me some of the horrific details of his life, he looked at me and saw that I had tears in my eyes. "Mas fuerte, hermana" he said to me. Be strong, sister. The next time he looked at me, he had tears in his eyes, too. "On the outside, I am strong" he told me, "but on the inside, it still hurts".
This child is 14 years old. He is the same age as my own brother, but has the life experience of someone much older. This child is a child in name alone, aged greatly by the experiences of his life
I asked, "How do you have so much joy after everything that you've been through?" and he told me, "This is the life that God has given me. I am who I am because of what I have been through."
