dear friends,
it has only been one week since i moved to guatemala for the next three months (or tres meses). these past couple of days have taught me so much about what is really worth fighting for. what is really worth living for. the people i have met already are so full of passion, dedication, humility, and beauty. they are so full of love and light and gratitude. the amount of times already that i have been welcomed into a family’s house, even after only meeting them the second before, is inspiring. they welcome us in with such open arms offering to teach us how to make tortillas or to simply share how thankful they are we have come to spend our time with them. it is a true blessing to be able to have conversations, despite the language barrier, that are so full of trust and authenticity. i’ve learned how important community is. and how important it is to feel known.
moving to another country is difficult. leaving my family, friends, and home is scary. i’ve experienced feelings of loneliness, fear, anxiety, exhaustion, and doubt over the past couple of months as i worked to prepare for a nine month trip around the world. leaving what is comfortable to me is unsettling. what if everyone forgets about me? what happens if i get replaced? for an individual who has struggled with anxiety and depression for the majority of their life, this experience seems incredibly daunting, almost impossible. it is easy to be caught up in thoughts on how i will not be able to do it. on how i am leaving everything behind and will never experience the same relationships, memories, or feelings ever again. i felt as if my identity was taken. i am terrified to become unknown.
right now, i am sitting in a little rooftop coffee shop looking over the beautiful city of antigua as well as the incredible landscape of mountains and volcanoes surrounding the city. i decided to finish my blog (finally. thanks perfectionism!) so i put on my headphones where the song, in your midst by allie paige, began playing. when the chorus came on i was reminded how important it was to know God. to have a relationship with Him. i was reminded of each step that led to me being here today, sitting embracing the beauty of His creation. i am so grateful that so many months ago i decided to apply for this crazy journey. i am so grateful He continued to open doors that allowed me to be apart of broadening His kingdom. i am so grateful for all of the people who believed in me, even when i didn’t, to pursue my purpose. i realized how important it is to define myself as His beloved daughter and not by my accomplishments. tears began rolling down my face as i embraced the truth which is that no matter how lost or far i feel, i will always be known by Him. and that is my prayer for the next nine months. to continue to seek Him in all the little conversations i have with people all across the globe. i desire to see Him in all the beautiful views. i want to live my life where His glory is noticed through me.
i pray that over the next three months, Lord, you will use me as your vessel to acknowledge all of those around me who feel lost, scared, anxious, or unknown as Your children. Lord, remind them how loved, how cherished, how beautiful, how worthy, how deserving, and how known they are in You. they are Your beloved children. i pray that it remains my heart‘s desire to know You and be known by You.
with infinite amounts of love,
sadie
p.s. i really recommend listening to the song, in your midst by allie paige. one of my squad mates suggested it and it is incredible. in fact, the entire time i spent writing the blog it was on repeat.
