Our ministry this month consists of being teachers and assistants to teachers in a bilingual school. The past two days, though, some of us were needed to help paint a house. We’ve been painting the underneath of the roof which means we were up really high on some ladders that didn’t look incredibly reliable. I finally pushed myself to get on the highest prong of the ladder to be able to reach where I needed to paint, and as I heard myself vocalizing my fear of heights and my worry for my own safety, I realized that at some point in the past ten years I have lost a lot of courage. My thoughts went straight to a memory that hasn’t crossed my mind in years.
At the age of twelve, I was on a ski trip that I took with my dad and brother every year and we were all standing at the top of a really steep hill. My brother (who by the way is two years older than me) was reluctant to ski down it and I just looked at him and said “What’s the worst that could happen? You might break a leg!” And with that I pushed past my dad and brother and flew down the mountain.
I was fearless. I knew there was a risk as my skis slid faster and faster on the snow, but in that moment I made up my mind that the risk was worth the experience. I couldn’t get that memory out of my head today and I was praying about it. “God I want to be brave.” Within minutes, the man who we call Abuelo was setting up this crazy rigged sitting situation for one of us to get on and paint in an area where a ladder alone wouldn’t reach. “Okay. Be brave.” I heard.
I couldn’t believe it. I knew I needed to get up there and paint, and a little part of me was afraid still, but I knew God was giving me a chance to show myself that I can do things that are daunting and I can do them courageously. I got up there and it was a little wobbly but I did it, and I didn’t fall!
So no I’m not saying that I’m going to start being this crazy dare devil that does reckless things and gets hurt, but I am done letting fear dictate my actions. There are so many ways I’ve let fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, or fear of disrupting get in the way of what God has for me. As of today I’m done with that. I’m going to be brave and let God be my backbone in the situations where I feel too timid to speak up alone. I’m going to look at the situation and remember that the worst that could happen isn’t so bad and actually the best that could happen from it is far worth the risk.
