Last September, when I decided I was going on The World Race, I was already dreaming about the route I wanted to go on. Spoiler alert, for those of you who haven’t obsessively looked into the organization like I did, I wouldn’t know my route options until January 2019, 4 months later. So, 4 months before the January 2020 routes were even going to be announced, I was in communication with God telling Him what I wanted and hoped for and dreamed of. I had my reasons, wanting to travel to exotic places I’d never been, set foot on new continents (because I’ve been to Europe and Asia but I’ve never been to Africa or South America), practice my language skills with the languages I was a little bit familiar with (especially Spanish). And I also acknowledged that God was never going to give me what I wanted. My plans weren’t His plans. My reasons for going on The World Race probably weren’t His reasons. I can literally show you the write-out of my dreams of an ideal route of what I wanted that I put together last September.
Of course, what a shock, God didn’t give me the route I wanted. He didn’t give me something with the “cool” countries and regions I wanted to go to all wrapped up in one. Instead, He said, there’s a route that goes to South America like you wanted and there’s a route that goes to Africa like you wanted and there’s a route that goes to Australia and China like you wanted. Pick one.
I said, “Ok, Lord, I want to focus on learning Spanish.” So I chose the South America route. Route 1. It’s pretty cool to realize it includes a bunch of European countries I didn’t give much thought to. I’ve set my feet in Portugal and Spain, but I can’t say I know the people. I’ve never lived there or spent anything more than a day or two. I knew God wanted something for me that I can’t even dream of and imagine. I was fine with that. Until a few days ago.
For the first time, a few days ago, I took another look at the routes. Route 1 goes to South America and Europe. Route 2 goes to Asia and Africa. Route 3 goes to Australia and Asia. I read the descriptions and I found myself questioning what kind of missionary God is calling me to be. I don’t think I’ve really done that. Accepting that I couldn’t have the route I wanted was 1 thing, but really asking what God wants me to get from this work is another thing entirely. I would love to come back having had months of exposure to Spanish culture and really putting in some effort to hone my skills. I could get fluent in Spanish pretty quickly if I tried. For a majority of this trip I will speak the language. I will have a clue what’s going on. I feel like I can connect with people in important ways. Those are important things. But is that what God’s asking me to do? Are those the skills God wants me to gain? Are those the experiences God wants me to have? I’m honestly not sure. There’4 routes available, and I’m stuck between deciding on 2 of them. It’s early in the process. There’s time to change. I don’t know if I’m supposed to. Route 2, going to Asia and Africa, would be challenging in a different way. I have had a small amount of exposure to Chinese. I would barely be able to do any communicating or reading if I chose that route without some serious dedicated time before I went. There’s a lot of ministry to areas with few believers on that route. Is that where my skills lie? Is my story meant to speak to people who have never heard the Gospel preached a day in their life? I’m not sure why, but route 3 is a lot easier to cross off the list of possibilities, though I’m not sure why either.
I haven’t asked these questions before a few days ago. Not really. So, there’s no time like the present, right? No time like the present to dig in and say “God, why am I going on The World Race?” You see, I don’t want to just be a tourist. I don’t want to just be focused on my story and my gain and the person I come back as. That matters. Perhaps that is even what matters most to God. But I’m going into the mission field to work with real people. REAL PEOPLE. People who God loves unconditionally. People who God has a plan for. People who MATTER in the KINGDOM. I want to go where God wants me to go. Even if following His call means that the day I leave I still don’t know why I’m going. God’s timing is perfect. He’ll reveal what I need to know in time.
But, the point, right now, is I’m not sure which route God is calling me to. I could use some prayer, friends. Prayer that God will make the path straight before me to reveal the best choice. I’m answering the call to go. Now, I need to answer the call to really examine God’s motives, not mine. God’s dream is so much bigger and better than mine could ever be. That’s the dream I want to have in my heart. Even if it’s scary and unknown. I may be on the right path, or there may not be a “right” path, but I know that God wants my whole heart aligned totally with His as we take this journey together. So, regardless of whether I take route 1 or route 2, I know that what I need is to focus on God’s Kingdom, not Sabrina’s world.
