Some people don’t know this, but one of my weaknesses is spatial and bodily awareness and reasoning. I have difficulty even telling left from right, which has led to some funny incidents with trying to give directions to people…
Anyway, I can tell you that dancing, sports, anything requiring kinesthetic and athletic ability is not my forte.
But I’m not content in that. I’m not content in being aware of something I am weak in and not trying to improve it or use it bring God glory. See, the Bible tells us that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). I have a weakness for the good purpose of God using it for His glory.
I always had this idea that maybe I could learn to improve my kinesthetic abilities by taking some karate or self-defense classes. A couple years ago I took a course in self-defense at my school, but if I’m honest a short-term class for someone who really has no idea what they’re doing isn’t helpful. I learned some things that I could recite to you, but I doubt I could physically recreate anything. And let me assure you it was never fun for me. But, I still would say every little piece counts.
A few months later I met the sister of a good friend of mine. She and her boyfriend took weekly Shotokan karate classes at a small, local dojo. I got brave and one fateful day joined them.
I knew I was making a long-term commitment. You don’t jump from a white belt to a black belt overnight. If I was possibly going to achieve that status it would take years, and I figured for me it would take twice as long since I have no natural talents, if it’s even possible for me.
Long-term for me didn’t mean years and a black belt. In mid 2018, I walked into that dojo knowing that I had a year and a half until I left Monroe. Maybe I would slowly grow in my abilities and come out better than when I started. That was my goal. My friends told me it took 6 months or so to go up a belt rank, but I didn’t want to put too much pressure on myself. I looked at the chart of belt colors and quietly told myself that by the time I left Monroe I would achieve 2 belt rankings. I would become an orange belt. Anything more would be icing on the cake.
Monday and Thursday evenings became karate nights. 1 hour a night, or more if Sensei felt like going over or lost track of time.
Sensei always told us that karate should be fun and we had to let ourselves have fun. To me that logic was a bit flawed. Doing hard things isn’t always fun. School, work, every facet of life that is hard isn’t always fun.
Believe me, I did not go to karate because it was fun.
I did not have confidence in my abilities. I did not find joy in being unable to block the training attacks of opponents who weren’t even going to hurt me. I hoped that over time it would become easier and more fun, but I didn’t have a lot of hope for that. I think it finally did start to become fun in the end. I did find myself laughing during one of my last sparring sessions. That fact struck me heavily. Maybe I really did make progress.
I don’t think anyone ever expected I would stick with it the full year and a half I was in Monroe. Even Sensei believed karate was just something on my bucket list to say I did it.
I wasn’t there because it was on my bucket list.
I was there to, as the dojo kun required, seek perfection of character. Building myself into a better person was the entire purpose of being there, the entire purpose of sticking through something that was not fun and even made me feel inadequate. My progress may be small, but you can’t place value on the amount of improvement in someone as a person.
On the very last night I attended karate, I finally achieved my goal. I tested to become an orange belt.
I see the progress in myself. Believe me, I am not confident in my abilities. I still can’t even figure out what arm I’m supposed to use for a basic block sometimes. But I am not the same level of inept I was when I walked into that dojo. And if I’m ever actually faced with a situation in which I need to defend myself, I’m sure we’ll see what kind of monster I’m actually capable of being. Training isn’t like real life at all because I really don’t want to hurt my training partners and I’m always holding back because of that.
I thought this personal improvement was the glory God was bringing from my weakness. But I was wrong. That was actually only part of the glory God brought himself.
It turns out that my persistence and my story actually made an impact on the others in the class, including Sensei and the kids in the kids’ class that I practiced and sparred with occasionally. Sensei told me how much my persistence meant to him. I never expected that.
I never knew the glory God could form in my weakness.
But I’m proud that I let myself be His tool. I’m proud that I stuck with something that was hard and not fun because I knew it was good for me and I knew it was good for the Kingdom. I’m proud that I humbled myself to that level.
It strikes me now that this lesson is even something that I will take on the World Race with me. My weaknesses are going to shine brightly over the next year as I travel the world bringing God’s love and ministry to the people I encounter. Now, I know the value of letting those weaknesses shine and being humble.
God’s glory will be bigger than I can imagine.
I hope you can learn from my experience in karate too. Humble yourself to expose your weaknesses. Seek perfection of character by working to improve yourself and letting God shine in your weaknesses.
Whatever your weakness, God will use it for His glory if you let him.
Work hard.
Be humble.
Accept correction and criticism along the journey.
Achieve your own orange belt.
