Hello!
I’ve only got 2 more weeks left before I GO HOME! Being over 8 ½ months in, it’s been easier to feel grumpy, impatient, and tired. Living in community with 25 other people is getting hard. Waking up to ministry is feeling more and more tiresome. The tension of being so close to home, yet not quite there yet, is challenging.
However, God isn’t ready to quit yet. He encourages me through scripture and community. This blog is a couple lessons he’s taught me over the past couple weeks to help me finish this race strong.
First, He is teaching me what true joy looks like. It is the appreciation and awareness of the grace all around us. It is the byproduct of a life connected to God. Joy isn’t found in the product, it’s found in the process. It is the awareness that each moment is a gift–yes, even the slow, hard moments where I miss home more than ever. It is found in recognizing the grace of God in everything. It is rejoicing in Him, not in the hardship.
The second lesson he taught me is from Luke 9:16-17.
“And taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing over them. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. And they all ate and were satisfied. And what was left over was picked up, twelve baskets of broken pieces.”
If I was Jesus in that moment, with a huge hungry crowd and only a few pieces of bread and fish, I would’ve probably felt a little entitled. If I was the most perfect person on earth, I would expect some better circumstances. However, rather than throwing a fit at the little He had, “He looked up to heaven and said a blessing over them.” What God revealed to me in that moment was that I had a choice. I had a choice to be a diva and throw a fit over all the bugs in my bed, the constant sweat dripping down my body, and over the pipes that never produced any water. OR, I could choose to look up to heaven, and say a blessing over my life and my circumstances. In other translations it says Jesus gave thanks for the little food he had.
And when Jesus did give thanks, what did God do? He multiplied it. Jesus trusted that God could and would multiply his little resources to feed thousands.
So with only a little time left on the Race, and the circumstances I wouldn’t have chosen for myself, I look up to heaven and give thanks.
I choose joy and find God’s grace in the vibrant Nicaraguan trees, the beautiful little niñas that love me, and the freshest, best mangos I’ve ever had that I pick right off the tree. I trust God that he can and will multiply the rest of my time here in ways I may not even see.
Philippians 1:6 “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
(Sarah Marsh, I was encouraged by this verse in your letter that I read today! Thank you!)
I have a video of my time in Nicaragua coming up! Thank you for reading and for your support!
Sabrina
