In a couple of weeks I will be back in the states. Before I arrive, there is something important I want everyone to know.
I HAVE CHANGED.
God has taken me around the entire world and transformed me immensely in the process. That being said, let’s continue where I left off in the last blog. Who am I now? And what happened to me this year?
The past 11 months have been the most impactful months of my life so far. Me and God have been on an incredible mission.
I’ve preached multiple times in many different cultures;
evangelized to Muslims in West Africa
sat on top of volcanoes, watching the lava burst into the sky,
Shared Jesus through my testimony in a prison cell
Lived, in constant community with people from all over the country with completely different backgrounds and personalities.
(And LOVED it!…sometimes.)
and recently found my spiritual rest under a waterfall
This year; I’ve learned how to lead, and how to follow. I’ve become extremely aware of the spiritual realm, and I’ve experienced the power of prayer, vulnerability and rest. I’ve learned how to die to myself, conquer and flourish. I’ve learned to live a wholesome life. Ultimately I’ve learned to view life as a mission. Every moment of every day, is a “mission trip”.
I can truly say I’ve learned to walk confidently in; intimacy, community and missions this year.
In all of this I became a fiercely devoted warrior for the kingdom of God and a ferocious man of God. I became a loyal-zealous servant of the most high-all powerful, King of all creation. In all of this, God revealed myself to me. He told me my name.
My name is Ryan, a man after God’s own heart. A servant, and fiercely devoted follower of Jesus. A warrior-poet for Christ, with a life mission to love Jesus, love people and make disciples. I am a confident dreamer who refuses to limit God. A shepherd, who is eager to love sacrificially. I am a child of God, a new creation, rescued from the bondage of sin. I am redeemed, free, fully known and fully loved.
Not only did God give me a name, but he gave me permission to be dangerous. I am Ryan the wild, a vessel willing to be used by the living God. A dangerous man willing to interrupt people’s lives for God’s glory. I became dangerous when I began to allow God to use me in any way He wanted. I became dangerous when I began to faithfully act in obedience to my King. I am fully alive in Christ, and I have reckoned with my own death. I have been broken, I am battle tested, and I have faced my wounds. I have suffered, and because of that I will not depart from God. I am a sabbath man, not afraid to rest, because I serve out of overflow. I know that a rested man is a strong man. I am not afraid to go into battle because I do not fight out of my own strength. I fight on my knees, in the presence of God, completely surrendered to my King. That is what makes me dangerous.
I know exactly who I am in Christ, and I know my life’s purpose. I am completely satisfied in Jesus, but I am still human. I still struggle with accepting my name. I still lack motivation to fulfill my life’s purpose. I get annoyed, forget to pray and yes, sometimes I completely ignore God. Despite my struggles and failures, I still know the truth and having a relationship with Jesus isn’t always easy for me, but it’s worth it. I know, and I’m thankful that, even in my darkest times Gods grace is endless, and sufficient. I struggle a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that God has given me an identity and a purpose. I’ve accepted the fact that life is hard, and I no longer ask why. Instead I choose to walk in freedom, and fight. I am unconditionally loved by God, and nothing can take that away from me. Hallelujah!
What an incredible year it’s been! Now that you know the new me, I have a challenge for you! Keep me accountable! Call me out if you see me backsliding or becoming stagnant. Ask me if I’m accepting/extending grace. Ask me if I’m fulfilling my purpose to make disciples, ask me if I’m still growing in my relationship with Jesus. Ask me if I’m still walking confidently in intimacy, missions and community. Ask me how, ask me why and ask me often!
Last thing, please understand that I will talk about Jesus A LOT, I am a ”Jesus freak”. I am a radical Christian and I am counter culture.
See you soon my fellow Americans, God bless you all, and thank you so much for all of the prayers and support. Meditate on what Gods telling you. Ask him what your name is.
