I’m supposed to write about preparation for the writing assignment that was due yesterday. Though, I’m not sure I really have much to say about that right now. Maybe it’s writers block. Something ought to be written though. Who knows how exciting it’ll be!
I’m not real sure I have much to say about anything. The only thing that’s in my head is just how ‘blah’ my life feels right now. Apparently my days now consist of sitting around until January 2nd. The house-painting job that I had has abruptly died due to lack of houses to paint. So now I’m randomly doing maintenance stuff for a guy I play basketball with. And tomorrow I’m taking pictures of a Bed & Breakfast via another guy I play basketball with.
Basketball saves the day!
I tell myself that I still am doing some worthwhile things with my time, such as keeping up with supporters and keeping them informed and updated. Today I went to give an update and magnet to my 3rd grade teacher that is supporting me and ended up talking to her for about 20 minutes. I’ve also been buying the last of the equipment I’d like to have. But I must confess that I do waste my share of time too. I play baseball on Nintendo sometimes, and I am absolutely hooked on this card game on my cell phone.
And then there’s my photography slump that I feel like I’m in. For starters I’m not shooting much right now, and the things that I am shooting don’t impress me very much. I am a tough critic though. Here are some pictures of my great-grandma that we went up to see on Saturday. She’s in her mid-nineties.
I always feel like I ought to be working more. Maybe that’s a sign. Whether it’s needing to be more diligent in finding work or taking better advantage of the opportunities I have. . . I don’t know. I just feel very blah right now. Complacent. I feel like I’m not good enough if I’m not out working full-time or close to it. I feel like I’m just watching my time fly away if I’m not working and making money. Should I cut myself some slack since I’m only around for another month or so and just accept my unemployment and start making the best of my time some other way? Or should I suck it up (whatever ‘it’ is) and find consistent or semi-consistent work for a month?
Emilie Janson (a friend from SAU/team member for this trip) wrote a thing in her blog today or yesterday about having an itch. She has an itch to leave here and get started with this thing! She’s ready to dive into this next year. I think I’m kind of in that same boat. I am ready to leave. I am so ready to not be living at home anymore! (no offense mom & dad) Right now I feel like I’m just going through whatever motions I’m going through and that’s it. There’s no substance to them. It’s like I’m not fully engaged in my own life right now. It’s as if I’ve already shut myself down for the remainder of my time here at home and am just gearing up for January 2nd when I finally leave.
Ha! Maybe that is my method of preparation for this trip: Unitentionally boring myself and not applying myself to anything to the point where I’m pretty sick of it. By the time that it is time to go, I will be so anxious to get out of here and start living a life that actually means something! The life that I’m rather certain is the life that God has called me to.
