A New Adventure and a Great Surprise
Faith along with life is a journey…there are up’s and downs, there are twists and turns, there are journeys that entail being in a valley or climbing up a mountain with the wind and rain blowing in your face….and then when you least expect it you get to the other side of the mountain and the sun is shining down on you through a beautiful rainbow that appears after the storm…
One of my hero’s growing up was Brett Favre…He was my hero because I loved his heart for the game of football. I loved how he never gave up no matter what the score was. He had an amazing way of playing the game with such passion, child like joy, and love that inspired me. He also had the heart to inspire his teammates in a way that inspired them to fight for each other and never give up no matter what the circumstances were. After Brett won the Super Bowl he was asked what his favorite part of winning it was? Brett replied that it wasn’t the Super Bowl itself that meant the most, but it was the journey getting there.
Well I’m learning in this journey of life that sometimes when you let things go and surrender them to The Lord, that sometimes The Lord surprises you and gives them back to you when you least expect it. I’m learning that’s what makes surprises and gifts from The Lord so good, it’s in the essence of the waiting, trusting, and the surrendering to him. I’m learning that you can’t take a gift, earn a gift, or force a gift to be given to you. A true gift is given when the one giving it to you wants to give it to you out of the goodness and love from within their hearts.
I love surprises and I love how The Lord can surprise us in a far better way than we could have ever hoped for or imagined!
So when I got home from Guatemala at the end of July this past summer, I didn’t know what the next step in life was. I felt like The Lord told me not to make plans or use any connections to find a job. He told me that he would fight for me, but I just needed to be still and wait on him in surrender and trust.
So I waited….and I tried my best to trust one day at a time
Coming home was a new adventure from living in Georgia for a month, going up to Ohio for a couple of weeks, and then finally moving to Illinois. It then consisted of flying to Naples, Florida to help my Grandparents move and then making a road trip from Naples back up to Cleveland, Ohio with a pit stop in Nashville for a friends wedding. Two days later I got on another plane to fly back down to Gainesville, Georgia.
I flew down to Georgia because I had an invitation to be a trainer for a World Race training camp. Every year the world race launches around 300 world racers every July, September, and January to go to the nations to reflect the true hope, love, and life of Jesus Christ to people all around the world.
I felt very thankful for this opportunity because I love being a trainer and getting to pour into and inspire future world racers in helping them come alive in their faith and their true purpose for living in Christ! I also thought it would be a good opportunity to see so many friends who I’ve worked with and lived life with at Adventures in Missions again since I have transitioned and moved to Illinois. A big part of me thought maybe this would even be the last time I saw many of my aim (Adventures in Missions) family because I felt like God was transitioning me into Illinois and possible even calling me to work at an exciting Vineyard Church here in Champaign. But God had an amazing surprise for me that came when I least expected it.
The third night of training camp two of my very respected and beloved friends who help run and lead The World Race called me into an office and I heard something that I honestly did’t know if I would ever hear, “Ryan, we want to ask you to be a squad leader for O Squad for The World Race!”
I get chocked up even typing this now…
I’m getting chocked up as I type this because for so long I longed to be a squad leader for the World Race. I don’t want to say my intentions were wrong, but they were misguided. My intentions came from a place of wanting to prove myself to people and wanting to earn my Father’s approval (in heaven and on earth). I always had the desire to be a squad leader so I could be blessed to walk along side racers in being there for them as a mentor and a friend. The calling of being there for them to believe in them, inspire them, listen to them, walk with them, counsel them, pastor them, and serve them in God’s love has always excited me so much. But The Lord had to take me through a process throughout the last year when I moved down to Georgia and then to Guatemala. The process was a painful process that consisted of stripping off false identity and motives that came out of insecurities deep within me that I have been trying to fix and heal for so long by my own strength. My heavenly Father had to bring me to a place of deep intimate friendship and sonship with just Him. God by His Presence and living Spirit brought me to a place like Moses talked about in Exodus 33 of face to face friendship and relationship where The Father kept asking me, “Ryan, am I enough for you.“
“Am I enough for you.?”
“If you never preach or speak at a church or event again am I enough for you? If you never lead another mission trip or prayer for someone, am I enough for you? If no one knows your name and you never become something in the worlds eyes, am I enough for you? Ryan If you go work at a place that is not “ministry” related, am I enough for you? If you never get married, never have kids, never make it in your friends and families eyes, am I enough for you?“
As I kept being humbled with this question throughout the process of the stripping and tearing down, I realized that my Father was fighting for me and hadn’t given up on me. He looked me in the eyes and reminded me that he Believed in me and was for me. He slowly began to build my identity fully upon him as being His Son, which didn’t come from what I did or even the way that I lived, but it came from WHO I WAS in Him!
My true identity is in who I am in my Heavenly Father through Christ Jesus being my Lord, my Savior, my older brother, and my best friend!
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons and daughters of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by whom we cry “Abba, Father!”
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if we are children, then we are also heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ if indeed we share in his sufferings we will also share in His Glory.”
– Romans 8:14-17
Okay back to being in the office being asked to squad lead:
So as I was asked to do something that I felt called to do for so long, it amazed me at the timing of how it came about. It says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, that God makes all things beautiful in his perfect timing. It amazes me that when I finally stopped trying so hard, when I finally let go of trying to prove myself worthy to people, when I stopped caring so much what others thought about me, and when I truly started walking and living in my identity as a Son of God, then the opportunity to squad lead came back to me when I least expected it. When I finally let go of squad leading, and gave it up and surrendered it to God, He gave it back to me in a way better than I could have imagined or asked for, Ephesians 3:20 style!
So as I sat there and had a great conversation with Bill and Hope, I asked them if I could take a day and pray about it. I know many may be thinking, what? Why do you need to pray about it? You have wanted this for so long!
I wanted to pray about it not because I doubted my desire or calling to still squad lead, but I wanted to make sure this was still the season of life that God had me in. As I spent time with God asking him if I should squad lead, I heard him simply ask me….”Ryan, what do you want?”
For a second, the old thinking of mine came back and I thought, “Lord, just tell me what to do, it doesn’t matter what I want, just tell me and show me what to do.”
But God said, “Ryan, I want you to choose. I want you to choose to be a squad leader, to live in Champaign and pursue working at the Vineyard, or I want you to choose to move back home to Ohio with your friends and family…I want you to choose, what do you want?”
“I want you to choose, because I want to show you that whatever you choose I will bless, because I am your Father and you are my Son. Ryan, I want to show you that I trust you and I trust you to make decisions. I want to show you that as a good Father does, I will support you and be there for you no matter what you choose because I trust you and am for you!.”
Wow…..this blew me away
So as I sat there I asked myself, do I want to keep on traveling? Do I want to be gone for seven straight months again going from country to country living out of a bag in the same type of transitional life that I have lived for the past two years?
I said, “No that doesn’t excite me like it used to. I’m over the traveling and even though the countries I’m going to I’ve never been to before (besides one), I’m just over the glamour and hype of it all.”
But then I said, “But I want to squad lead!”
“Why?”
“I want to be a squad leader because I have fallen in love with O Squad and I want to be there with them on this journey to inspire them and help them become fully alive in you God.”
I then had a sudden peace and excitement and almost felt like my Father was looking me in the eyes hugging me and patting me on the back saying,
“Now, that’s a good reason to want to squad lead!.”
So I write this blog to let you all know that I will be leaving in January to head to the nations again. I am very humbled and honored to be serving 50 world racers on O Squad along with two of my sisters in Christ who I will be co-leading, aka co-serving with. Together the three of us will be the squad leaders for the 50 amazing young people of O squad.
The three of us will go with O squad for 5 months to 5 different countries, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and Guatemala! We then will visit them for a week in month 8 in the Philippines and a week in month 11 in South Africa.
After squad leading is done in May, I will be embarking on my own journey outside of Adventures in Missions and will be going to Mozambique, Africa where I will go to a missions school at Iris Ministries. As some of you may have read in a past blog, I had the amazing blessing and privilege to meet two of the founders and leaders of Iris Ministries, Heidi and Rolland Baker. So I will be going to spend time with them in Mozambique to attend their two month ministry school located in Pemba, Mozambique at an orphanage that they live at. I believe the timing of squad leading and The Lord calling me to Iris are very divine and lined up with each other. Even though the thought of being away from friends and family again for seven months doesn’t excite me, the call that I feel to both of these divine opportunities fills me with a passion, excitement, and a fire that I can’t explain. Even though a large part of me wants to put down roots and hopefully have a family one day, the even deeper part of me wants to keep saying yes one step at a time trusting that in God’s timing and in God’s way, that He will work all things together for my good and His Glory!
I just want to keep saying yes and keep trusting Hi, one step at a time believing that God is faithful and that He will fulfill the purpose of my life (Psalm 57:2). I will trust that my Father already has been and will continue to use all these experiences that He has blessed me with to mold me and shape me into the true man and servant of God that He is calling and creating me to be.
So I’m saying yes and choosing to go….Yes because I feel called to, but most of all, I’m saying yes because I WANT TO!
Thank you for all of your support, love, and encouragement. I couldn’t do this and live this kind of life without friends and family like you that God has blessed me with to have and be supported with on these journeys.
Wherever you are and whatever your going through today, keep saying yes trusting your Father and Savior one step at a time. Keep trusting and believing that God is using your story to reflect His story and that He is working through your life to make a difference and impact in this world!
Keep saying Yes…He’s living through you and in you to make a difference in this life!
