As I have been following this call the Lord has before me, it has not been easy. Something has been happening that I was not expecting. There is a hymn called Every Day With Jesus. A line in the song says, “Every day with Jesus, is sweeter than the day before.” I really don’t think that is true at times. Some days following Jesus are down right tough. Following Jesus comes with a cost even before getting on the field, as I am learning.
My family are believers and it hurts me a lot that they do not support this decision. It is hard to do something when your family is not behind you in the choice. While talking with my family about this, the look I got from them seemed one that was not loving. It was almost a look as, “If you continue with this, I will tell family who get your letter to not partner with you.” You are a follow of Jesus, should you not be excited about this? I often wonder what the disciples thought when they left EVERYTHING, to follow Jesus. Two of the disciple where with their father and left him fishing to follow Jesus. Jesus tells the rich young man asked what to do to have eternal life. His response is to sell everything and give to the poor. He left sorrowful. I believe this is a picture of follow Jesus. Having nothing but him, it is not easy, even when your own family is not with you in it.
overwhelm me, like a waterfall
overwhelm me, let me see you as you are
pursue me, all the days of my life
let your water fall
(words from waterfall by Salvador)
I have been praying and crying a lot because my heart is just broken over my family. I had no idea that it would be this hard to leave them behind when doing the call of the Lord. Reading the word, Jesus used the weak to lead nations and change lives. He called tax collectors (the least of these who did not deserve anything back then) to do great and amazing things. This step I have a feeling will the first step to many hard challenges of following Jesus. Will it be worth it, leaving my family behind? Absolutely!
