I want to share with you guys a really cool experience I had with the Holy Spirit a couple of days ago. The past month and a half my team has really struggled with connecting and figuring one another out. To be honest I think it has crossed every single one of our minds to ask for a team change. So its been frustrating on all fronts. I thought that I had this community thing figured out (lol, okay Ryan..) So coming into all squad month I needed advice and encouragement so I confided in my friend Amy. She spoke a lot of truth into the situation and encouraged me to do this exercise. So this is how it went:
I asked myself these questions
What do I want the Lord to do in me this year?
Some of the things I wrote:
I want to have His eyes to see His children.
I want a deeper understanding of His papa love for me.
I want Him to shift my hope to Him alone.
What do I want the Lord to do through me this year?
Some of the things I wrote:
I want Him to use me as a vessel of His love everywhere I go.
I want to be used to bring identity and purpose to His children.
I want to be His light in the darkness.
I want to bring encouragement and edification to His saints around the world.
Then I drew a huge circle and on the inside of the circle write out all of my frustrations or negative thoughts that I have been feeling. I wrote A LOT.
Just to list a few:
I miss my parents
I am lonely
I have been stuck inside all month
No one is being open
I dont feel loved by my team or leadership
I am cold
Blah, blah, blah
(you get the jist lol)
Then I took some time to ask the Holy Spirit how He was using these negative factors to bring the growth I desired into completion. He spoke so soft and sweetly to me, you guys.
As I was waiting and listening this is what I heard:
I am taking away all your props that you are prone to hang on to because I want all of you. I want you to understand that I alone am all you need. Hope in anything else is foolish and you, my daughter, were not made to live a life of foolishness. The wisdom I have gifted you with is for a purpose. Your gift mix was specifically given to you so that you can bring others into the identity I have spoken over them. But first you need to walk through a season of recognizing your own identity. Allow me to continue to shape you and cut out all the preconceived notions about who you think I say you are. Open up your heart and except the invitation to dance with me, daughter. Experience true hope with Me. Trust my heart for you. Know I am with you. I want to teach you about what it looks like to be in my kingdom not as a slave but as royalty. (before I was born God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace) Galatians 1:15
After hearing this I sat and cried and then rejoiced because I needed to hear these words. I needed to know that what I was walking through wasn’t for nothing. He once again gave me purpose for this season which has given me endurance to continue walking out this journey on the World Race with my team.
He has also shown me that it’s not about me.
It’s not about me at all.
Okay thats all I have for now.
P.s. I am sorry I havent written any blogs. Its so hard to be in the middle of something and try to put it into words! Love me through it, okay? 🙂 MISS YOU ALL.
P.S.S. Miss you most mom and dad.
