The last two weeks or so my mind was very clouded, being so anxious about the trip, just wanting it to happen the enemy used that time to discourage and blind me. Looking around at the world, everyone I've known for years graduating college and on to career mode. I myself have joined the working force as well, working two jobs, both which I love but with only a limited amount of time before I leave, being a person who is very driven, it's tough to just not want to 'get by' in the next few months until I leave but continue to prosper in all aspects of life. The world telling me 'You need to pursue your career.' 'What am I doing with my life?' 'What is this plan I have?' – then it all hit me. I don't have a plan! I don't at all, and I am very pleased with that. Daily, I work hard wanting to give it my all but when the world is all doing one thing, It's not always easy going the other way. Now I see that that's not the story God has written for me, I don't see a 'career goal' yet. On Saturday after work I went to Panera, flipping through the Psalms God brought me to Psalm 40. It was as if he was speaking directly into my heart, allowing me to Rest in his love, his grace and his all knowing.
The Theme in my study Bible for Psalm 40 – Doing God's will sometimes means waiting patiently. While we wait, we can love God, serve others, and tell others about him.
Psalm 40:1-3
1."I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
2.He lifted me out of the sllimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3. He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
As I began reading the Psalm I couldn't help but see my entire walk with Christ unfolding before my eyes. For 22 years my heart & soul cried out for the Lord, he heard my cry and came to my rescue. He lifted me up out of my sin filled way of life, out of the dirty filth my heart constantly desired. Placing my feet on a rock, that rock being Christ Jesus. He began putting praises of him in my heart and out of my mouth came spewing those praises. I began to trust in him, for he is my rescuer.
Psalm 40:5
"…The things you have planned for us no one can recount to you;…"
– The things he has planned for me, I cannot narrate, he is the author, while trusting in him I am safe.
40:8
"I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."
-I want to live for him daily, never being an easy task but while I wait to do his will on mission for 11 months, I need to live out that mission here daily, loving him, serving others and speaking of his faithfulness.
40:10 – "I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation."
40:11 – "Do not withhold your mercy from me O Lord; may your love and your truth always protect me."
-He has never withheld his mercy from me, why would he now?
I am resting in his love, trusting in my faith.
40:15-16
15"May whose who say to me "Aha! Aha!"
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
"The Lord be exalted!""
-May those who look to prove me wrong be shown your way Lord, that they may seek you as well and fill their mouths with the hymn of praise you have placed in mine
"The Lord be exalted.!"
The spirit spoke into my heart, showing me to rest in his Love until I go, continue to press on daily, living on mission daily. Showing me has came to my rescue as he always does, he has a specific plan in mind for me and it's not for me to know yet, I just need to continue being obedient to him. This saturday I leave and fly up to Chattanooga where I will attend training camp with my whole team, I have never been so excited about anything, please keep my team and I in your prayers for this upcoming week, fundraising is going well, I am about 1/3 of the way to my Goal! Thank you for all being faithful as he is!
