It seems like forever since we’ve talked.
but boy was I wrong.
This place is dark.
Somewhat dead.
My physical needs are taken care of…
and so I naturally float through the day…
Absolutely comfortable physically
but my Spirit feels empty and sick.
I miss the community you blew me up with.
I miss yearning for your presence.. and getting it.
I miss the simplicity of life.
because I KNOW its possible here.
I just gotta find it.
I gotta find how to get to that place with you..
I have to put down my phone.
shut the computer.
Chill out on the coffee dates and day trips.
I need to make time for you since it doesn’t just appear.
It’s hard coming back to the place that in the past
I only fed my flesh…
I don’t know how to live for you here.
I’ve never dramatically pursued you in these places that I now constantly reside.
I have declared over my room and house that it is a place you reside.
I expect your obvious presence with me.
That hear about the “Starving kids in Africa”
But don’t know their names.
That know of the sex trade in Asia
but haven’t looked into their eyes and felt the hopelessness of
powerless idols that just leave them empty.
Give me strength for it because right now it makes me nauseous.
This psycho world.
It’s funny how hard life is.
It’s funny that you say it’s not easy
yet i’m pissed off when I have to fight daily to be tight with you.
I know a lot that I don’t apply.
I desire the strength to apply it.
I beg for it.
I need you here more than I needed you anywhere else.
Please continue to blow me up with the fact that
i’m a vapor.
A mist.
A flower.
Here one day gone the next.
I don’t want to forget it even with these comforts.
It’s becoming more and more real to me that I will not be satisfied
until I am awestruck in your presence.
I have never been content in this world.
When I am in Cambodia I want to be in Australia.
When I’m in Malaysia I’m all about America.
I get to America and i’m like AFRICAAAA.
When I’m in Houston I want to be in Birmingham.
I am never content.
barely touching the surface of your love.
I want more of you God.
It seems weird that i’m never content
but then it just dawns on me that we are
Clearly made for another world.