We are in an insane battle…
that we aren’t even aware of most of the time.
I have been recently been fighting an insane Spirit vs. flesh battle.
And by recently I mean the past 22 years of my life.
What do I mean by Spirit vs. flesh?
Exactly what it sounds like.
My flesh wants…
Sex.
Alcohol.
Cigarettes.
to cheat.
to be selfish.
to hate.
to be prideful.
to be lazy.
to be lazy.
to get all the attention.
Addictions in general.
Basically to indulge in all of the above.
My Spirit wants the polar opposites.
My spirit wants to be on my face in prayer constantly.
to love unconditionally.
to have a life that sings of the Lords love.
To comprehend his goodness.
To only care about how HE sees me.
To be humble.
To speak of his grace constantly.
To have confidence in my faith.
To serve with my existence.
To be constantly aware of the needs around me.
To give generously.
To speak loudly without making a noise.
To be Christ.
But there is a huge disconnect.
I legit feel like there are two of me.
There is the sick Ruth flesh..
Then there is this beautiful Spirit filled Ruth being used as a vessel.
It freaking SUCKS that it’s a constant fight.
I wish on the day that I finally surrendered my life
that every sick and sinful desire would have vanished and that
only the Lord in me would be evident.
That would be freaking rad.
Nope.
Life only became harder when I finally gave up this battle on my own.
I am so incredibly thrilled that I’m not on my own obviously
But it is just hard even this far down the road to make the
CONSTANT choice to follow Him daily.
As a human, the fleshly tangible things are obviously way more attractive.
But He is sovereign and constantly fights for us.
Even when I whore myself out to all the ways of this world…
He gives that little half smile and knits my heart back together.
Whispers He will never leave me or forsake me.
On an insane polar opposite note:
I hate giving Satan any attention…
because that’s what he wants….
but I have a little warning about him.
There’s a verse in 1 Peter 5:8 that depicts him so well.
It says Satan roams the earth like a roaring Lion.
I have taken this verse lightly for so long…
but I have recently been blown up by the intensity of this verse.
Lions can seem pretty at first glance…
They are inticing by their existence…
They are pretty and fierce looking.
They look like they are chill.. causing no harm.
Then boom.
Donezo.
Suffocated.
Eaten alive.
Dead.
Eaten alive.
Dead.
THAT’S SATAN.
He is legit smart.
He knows what is inticing for us and he uses it.
We see something pretty to the eyes
then suddenly we are eaten alive.
Stuck in a sick deep sin…
thinking we’re toast.
Thanks satan, you suck.
So this is my warning…
to myself too…
Sin is pretty.
You don’t see something that you know is going to hurt you and say
“daaanggg lets do ittt.”
Sin is always attractive.
So beware.
Also, Satan loves him some secrets.
His favorite thing to do is to tell you that
“No one else deals with this”
and
“everyone will leave you if they find out.”
Which is SO not true.
I fell for that for so many years…
And when I finally fessed up to those around me, no one flinched.
No one cares but yourself.
Get those secrets out… there is FREEDOM in Christ.
You are already forgiven…
Don’t let satan tell you that you’re the only one.
You’re not.
Find someone you trust and blow em up.
Where the Sprit of the Lord is there is Freedom.
So.. confess, be free.
We are in an insane battle
But the good news is…
The war has been won.
Boom.
Boom.
