I never realized I had a problem receiving until I had to ask for $15,500. I have been humbled over and over by so many people’s generosity. I have $12,000 in my support account right now, people. $12,000 since November – barely 5 months ago. I am just dumbfounded and so grateful! My immediate reaction is to pay each one back in some way. “Thank you” just doesn’t seem like enough. And that got me thinking…is this how I react to God’s grace?
I have heard grace defined many ways: an undeserved gift that I can never earn, God at work, unmerited favor. I know about this in my head but I think God is using this process of fundraising to penetrate my heart too.
It is hard for me to receive. *sigh* there, I said it.
But isn’t it better to give than to receive? I took this so literally that I almost left no room to receive. Maybe instead of “better” it’s easier to give than to receive because then I have control over the situation. But thank God that his grace is bigger than my capacity to try and shut it out. I am slowly learning to receive, say thank you, and then be a good steward.
But it goes even deeper! The love that I had given was invested and now I am reaping the “interest” so to speak. What a beautiful thing when we give away love that God first gave us so that He can use it to bless us back! Everything is coming back full circle: because I cannot give unless I have first received. We love because He first loved us. We forgive because we have been forgiven. We bless others because we have been so blessed. It is so not about the money anymore. Don’t you just love God’s kingdom?!
So I only have roughly $3,500 left to raise in order to be fully funded. I am totally confident that I will be fully funded before I leave in July. (And just a heads up, once I am fully funded I plan to continue raising money for the rest of my teammates. You have taught me how to be generous and I am not taking it for granted.)
Aren’t you excited for the time when my blogs will not be about money? Ha, yeah. Me too.
Ephesians 2: 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.
