Our new Swaziland contact said this in orientation this morning (Feb 13) when informing us of some cultural things (greetings, food, tattoos, relationships etc.). He is American and has been here almost a year so he has learned the hard way that he is not here to change Africa. He is here to serve and be changed in the process.
I wish someone would have said this to me when we first arrived in Africa late November. These last two months have been quite difficult and challenging for me. After hearing other squad mates’ similar stories, I’m convinced that month 7 is when it really gets hard.
I am getting used to sleeping in cars, trains, planes, buses, hard floors, and mosquito nets.
I am getting used to saying goodbye to contacts that I love (though it is still not easy).
I am getting used to doing laundry by hand, with a couple little girls by my side helping.
I am getting used to unreliable water, and the gamble of “is it safe to shower now, or should I wait yet another day?”
I am getting used to wearing the same outfits that I’ve worn since July.
I am getting used to packing everything I own every month and lugging 40 ish pounds to the next place.
But I am getting tired. As I near the end of the Race, more and more people are talking about home, and I am getting homesick. Last month I hit a wall and was done with giving feedback, waiting for ministry to start, waiting for water to come on so I could finally shower after 3 days, and missing the comforts of home. Africa has been the most difficult, but I wonder if it has more to do with the fact that we have been doing this thing for 7 months now.
But after hearing our contact say “Let Africa change you or leave,” something hit me.
As soon as we crossed into Swaziland the weather cooled and I was finally able to get some perspective on this funk I’ve been in since getting to Africa. Last month’s thoughts were a scary place to be, but I realized the importance of being real with those emotions. It only becomes dangerous when you let the irritation fester and take the lead.
Maybe I was trying so hard to make change happen…a change that I could see, touch and hear…that I forgot to see that God was changing me in the process.
So I want to encourage you to step back and get perspective. Stop trying to change people or circumstance around you and instead let God change you through it. YOU are the only person you are responsible for. And remember that we were made for another world…a heavenly one. And until we can stifle the craving for those tangible reassurances of our faith, trust will never happen.
I have one month left in Africa and I am not leaving here until I let it change me. I’m simply expecting God to move in Swaziland, but I am not going to box Him in with my expectations or with the ways I think that should look. I am ready to finish Africa strong. Though the process has been painful, I trust that the Potter is making a beautiful thing out of me.
(Sorry for no photos…internet has been hard to come by. I hope to have some for you at the end of this month)
