This morning, I was
sitting on the couch, having my morning quiet time. I asked God where I should
read and flipped my Bible open to Proverbs 26:1. That verse stopped me dead in
my tracks. Well… more like dead in my reading. You know what I mean. The verse
reads, “As snow in summer and rain in harvest, so honor is not fitting for a
fool.� Instantaneous conviction. My immediate thought? “Wow. I am SUCH a fool!
I’m utterly sinful and an idiot, so not wise. I should not have honor; it’s not
fitting for me. So why do I keep seeking it and thinking that I am worthy of
that honor?! God is the only One Who is truly worthy of honor. I need to abase
myself before Him.� I could see Him nodding at me with a look that read Finally,
you’re starting to get it! How many of you need to come to that realization as
well? I am a sinner. I am fallen. And despite the fact that I’m washed by the
blood of Christ, I continue to stumble and struggle. Not just weekly, not just
daily, but hourly and even minutely (is that proper contextual use of that
word?). The thing is, I keep trying to do it by myself. Remember that last post
about pride? Yup, more of that right there. I’m too proud to ask for help, even
from God and I think I can do it all on my own. My own power. *sigh* I think
I’m finally learning that I can’t do it by myself. It just doesn’t work that
way and the end result, well, it won’t be nearly what God can achieve.
In the midst of
realizing that, God hit me with another vision. Picture yourself in this
situation. Heh I was going to tell you to close your eyes and imagine it with
me. But then I realized you’re reading this so that really wouldn’t work out so
well 😛 Anyway…
You’re floating in
the middle of a vast ocean; literally, an endless sea. The sky above you is
dark and forbidding. Black thunderheads block out all light and torrential rain
pelts ever-mounting swells. As lightning flashes, you catch a glimpse of the
never-ending waves. Though you know it’s futile, you scream and cry for help,
hoping against hope that someone will come, that there will be a boat, that
someway, somehow, you find salvation. Terror sets in as the massive walls of
water crash over you, buffeting you to and fro and filling your mouth and lungs
with icy brine. It’s so dark, so cold. You feel alone… abandoned… helpless…
hopeless. Each time the waves pull you under, it takes longer to muster the energy
to struggle back to the surface. The will to live lessens. It’s so hard to do
it on your own; your strength is almost spent. Finally, you are done fighting.
The colossal surge draws you under. As frigid darkness closes over your head,
you realize with dreaded certainty that you’re drowning. Final surrender comes
and you commit yourself to God. As though from far away, you see your body
drifting down into the depths. Suddenly, you are back in your body. Great
blinding rays of light are thrown from your body out into the black water,
turning everything to shimmering hues of blue and green. A transformation has
taken place – where once you were human, you are now a mermaid (or merman). The
ocean is a whole new world undiscovered, filled with wonders and colors and
mystical things previously unknown to you. You have a new vision, a new
perspective, and it allows you to see everything in a whole new way.
Life is like an
endless ocean. We’re trapped in the storm, trying to be like God and draw near
to Him. The problem is, we try too hard. We struggle to stay afloat on our own.
We think we can do it ourselves, on our own strength. But we can’t. So we call
on other people to help us, to save us and draw us out of the storm. However, a
rescue boat or flotation device will only keep you afloat for so long. We need
to realize that we can’t. What power do we really have?! None! We absolutely
CAN NOT do it on our own. When we understand that, we begin to concede defeat.
As an individual, we probably feel insignificant and abandoned, alone and
hopeless. It’s useless to try and struggle. That’s when we surrender. That’s
when we give up and drown, when we tell God that we can’t do it on our own. And
THAT, my friends, is exactly where God wants you. Once you fully surrender, you
die to yourself. And that is when God totally transforms you. He makes you a
brand new creation, gives you a new perspective, and reveals things to you that
you never knew. He wants each and every one of you to come to that dreadful
place of surrender. It looks different for everyone. For some, it means giving
up your riches or things of comfort. For others, it might mean giving of your
time or giving of your rights. For me, it means being completely broken and
humbled; being brought to a place of pain and humiliation, a place where my
pride and anger are challenged and crushed so that I can be rebuilt and filled
with love and joy.
But here’s the
thing. It has to be a heart change, not just a change of attitude or actions.
Chameleons are cool because they change colors. They adapt to their
surroundings, blending in. Here in Africa, many people believe that the
chameleons are poisonous and refuse to come near them. How many of us are like
chameleons? Constantly changing and adapting to fit the situations and keeping
people at bay so that they don’t know our true selves? Now look at butterflies!
They start out as a slow, fuzzy caterpillar and undergo a difficult
transformation, trapped in a cocoon and having to struggle to be free. But the
struggle is what gives them strength, fills them with life and the ability to
survive. Without this struggle, that difficult journey to freedom, the
butterfly will die. And when it emerges, it is gorgeous, fully transformed and
beautiful. Many of us are like chameleons, trying to fit others’ expectations
of us. But we shouldn’t be like that. As Christians, we should strive to be
like a butterfly instead. God wants to change us, calls us to transformation.
Romans 12:1 says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind so that you may prove what is that good and acceptable
and perfect will of God.� Can I get an amen? AMEN!
One of my
squadmates (yes, I DID just make that a word!) challenged me with this. What if
our perceptions are just a little bit off? If the way we see the world and the people in it and even
ourselves isn’t correct? If your perceptions changed, how much would that
affect your world? I want to challenge you, too. I challenge you to stop trying
so hard. I challenge you to let God transform you. I challenge you to allow God
to change your heart and your perceptions and watch how crazily your universe
grows. Learn to be instead of getting caught up in going and doing. Because
it’s in those still, quiet moments when you’ll truly be able to hear God’s
voice and feel the heart change.
