“And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.'” – Matthew 3:17
Then the VERY next sentence says this:
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.” – Matthew 4:1
And this all happened BEFORE Jesus began His ministry. According to Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus didn’t preach a single word until He, one, received love and affirmation from His Father in heaven; and two, was led into the desert to be tempted by the enemy.
So, Jesus needed to know the Lord loved him, and that love had to be tested before He began to live out the call God placed on His life. In this blog I want to focus on that first verse.
Now, if that’s how it had to work for Jesus, then don’t you think that’s going to be how it has to work for us. Too many times I feel like all of us try to do God’s work before we really believe He loves us. Or maybe, we believe it and know it in our minds, but we just don’t feel it in our spirits. I can tell you right now, that’s the case for me. I know it, but am I feeling it? Now, I’m not saying I have never felt His love – I have. But it’s just not consistent.
Here’s what I said in the blog I wrote before this one:
“That’s my call right now, get quiet with the Lord and LEARN TO BE LOVED BY HIM…”
What in the world does that mean anyway, learning to be loved by God? Why didn’t one of you folks out there write me and say, “What the hell are you talking about Rusty?”
This morning I asked God what does it mean to be loved by you? I have felt your love in the past, but why is it fleeting? How can I get before you and receive your love? Because I desperately need to if I want to continue in ministry. I mean how else can I love others if I can’t even accept that God really does love me.
Here was His answer: Rusty you got to get in front of me like Adam and Eve.
“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” – Genesis 2:25
Adam and Eve literally walked with God in the garden. If anyone had intimacy with God – they did! Why, because they were fully exposed in front of God – and they felt no shame. How many of us don’t feel like we can come before God because all He’ll see is the ugliness we try so hard to hide from the world. We know we can keep things from man, but not from God. We carry so much shame, guilt and regret that we, or at least I, feel like God’s love comes with conditions. But it doesn’t.
For me, God is saying to let Him into the places that I think disgust Him. He’s saying that all the things I’ve done that I regret or cause me shame are forgotten. Ok, I can accept that my past is forgiven. But the problem is now, I still fall way short of Him. Believe me, there are times I just want to forget God and run back to the “comforts” of the world. I want to run back to who I used to be – who people believed me to be. And I feel guilty as hell, that after all I’ve seen I still want to run from Him.
But, He still wants me totally exposed, vulnerable, naked in front of Him – with no shame, regrets, or guilt. However, the problem is I still feel like Adam after he and Eve ate the fruit. Remember when God came walking thru the garden calling out to them? Here is what Adam said:
“I heard you in the garden, and I was AFRAID because I was naked; so I hid.”
Father I don’t want to hide anymore.
Why is it so hard to accept that I am His son who He loves and is well pleased with?
