Spent

 

     I don’t really know any better way to put it. I’m SUPER dry spiritually. It’s day 200 of THIS race, but for me, since i did nearly half this trip last year, I’ve been out of the country for a solid year. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I’m about flat out done. Now yes, I can continue to do the basic things that keep this squad getting from one place to another. However, on the spiritual side of it – I’m useless.

 

     I can’t tell you how hard it is not to look to end of this trip. To be honest, I’m in love – the problem is, she is back in the states. But, Ericka is supportive of where I’m at right now. And we both agree the Lord has more to teach us while we are separated. Thing is though, that’s only part of it. Bottom line – I’m getting to a point in my walk with Christ where I just have to flat out chose to keep going. For so long I was going with “the feeling.” I was walking the walk because it was fun, exciting and new. Well it just ain’t new anymore. It’s everyday life. HA! There is a lesson right there! At some point, everything we do turns into everyday life. Whether that be being a husband, father or globe-trotting missionary. And I guess what I’m learning is that at some point all those things I look to to make me happy will lose their luster and become “everyday life.” So the question is now, what will I do? Chose to continue to walk in where God has placed me, or run to the next best thing? I’ve run to the “next best thing” my whole life.

 

     Either way, for a while now my pride has kept me from openly admitting these things. Well – to hell with my pride!

 

     This Friday we leave for India. It’s supposed to be 110 degrees and humid as all get out. Please pray for more of HIS strength in my life. I need it – I’m out of mine.