A week from tomorrow I’m outta here and with my departure date around the corner I wanted to ask all you folks out there to pray for me. I got a perfect verse that seems fitting for my trip and really my life. It’s Colossians 1:9b-11. In it Paul is praying for the Colossian church:
“We ask God to give you a complete understanding of what he wants to do in your lives, and we ask him to make you wise with spiritual wisdom. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and you will continually do good, kind things for others. All the while, you will learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy.”
I realize it’s a little long, but it’s perfect for my life right now. In fact, I’ve already been praying over this verse and God has been faithful by giving me new insights and answers. Here’s just a few.
You see back in September I decided I was going to “let go of the rope.” Just give up in a certain part of my life. I was tired of fighting it and tired of trying to be a “good guy.” I felt like a failure and that I could never be a good boyfriend, let alone a good husband. So I just said, “I’m letting go of the rope.” However, my awesome, loving, heavenly father was like, “whatever dude, I ain’t letting you do that!” Well maybe he didn’t say it like that, but it’s so incredible to know he was not about to let me walk down that road and throw my life away.
So as I sit here today, some ten months later, this season in my life becomes much more clear. I’m finally seeing the purpose in it. Without a doubt God is preparing me for a better life. I mean let’s get real, a lot has happened in the past four months. I was fired. I’ve been to three different continents. I’m dealing with some pain and heartache in certain areas of my life in which I carry a lot regret. Not to mention my life is changing so freakin’ fast and going a million miles an hour in another direction that some days it’s just downright mind-boggling. HOWEVER, I’m learning more about myself than I ever thought possible. I’m going deeper than I’ve ever been with God – it’s like I got a real relationship! And I’m finally getting a “complete understanding” for what he’s doing in my life – maybe not a complete understanding, but at least SOME understanding. And he’s done it by pouring “spiritual wisdom” into me. I understand this season of my life is growing me into the man of God I’ve been asking to become. God has a much better life in store for me and I have to go thru these trials and troubles to develop the character and integrity I need to live a life of faith. You see the path I chose back in September was covered in crap! But I’m so thankful God loved me enough to pull me from that path. And I’m just as thankful God has given me the wisdom to take joy in my trials.
And thru this “understanding” God has given me, I find myself knowing him “better and better.” Our relationship has become something that is real. I actually want to please him and honor him with my life. It’s just crazy how much spiritual growth I’m seeing. I’m so blessed right now.
Now having said all that I want to say this, I’m far from perfect and I lose my battles with sin on a moment by moment basis. The difference is I actually feel convicted when I’m choosing sin over God. So I’m not some perfect, God loving man that reads my Bible every second of the day – not that ya’ll thought that anyway. It’s just important for me to say that. You see what always turned me off on the church and “christianity” was that no one was real. I always felt judged at church. And that’s the last way I want to make anyone feel. I just want to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind! Plain and simple.
