Gross.

I don’t like the sound of my own voice. I know I’m not the only one suffering from this phenomena. Perhaps as you read this, you think back to all those times you’ve heard a recording of yourself and cringed a bit (don’t even get me started on seeing a video…). We all sound so much better in our own heads, and many times that statement extends from the literal to the much more tragic figurative and metaphorical.

How often do you feel that you have a message to share, but instead of finding an outlet through which to share it you end up squelching it under thoughts like:

“Who am I that people will listen?”

or

“Other people do it so much better than I could.”

or perhaps the most damaging

“I’ve tried before and it didn’t go so well.”

Maybe you’ve even reasoned that if YOU’VE had this thought or message, surely it’s already been a prevalent thought in the minds of the masses and you’re just late to the party. It’s not like you’re anything special…right?

Wrong.

Trust me, I’ve been there. I still am there unless I actively fight against those destructive thoughts that have lodged themselves so deep in my psyche. For those familiar with the enneagram*, I self-type as equal parts 7 and 9. I haven’t landed on one over the other yet because they both hit so close to home and speak so deeply to how I see and experience myself, my thoughts, desires, and motivations. 

Us 9’s, we want to create harmony in our environment, avoid conflicts and tension, preserve things as they are, and to resist whatever would upset or disturb us. We are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace.

What this means for me is that it’s easy to feel like my voice doesn’t matter. It’s easy to find myself agreeing with both sides of an argument, even if that argument takes place in my own head. Because of this, it’s common for me to become paralyzed by indecision and ultimately leads to inaction. I can reason away the fire stirring my soul.

Growth.

Through recent years, I have worked to not only identify some of these (numerous) weak spots I possess, but to actively push into and grow them. This has been awesome for my faith. I feel I am not only awakening to myself, but also to my truest self that God has called and created me to be.

I have so many thoughts, ideas, passions, and plans for the future and to impact the people around me and to help others become the truest, best versions of themselves as well, but none of those things will ever come to fruition if I continue to censure and silence myself and the Spirit that God has placed within me!! And that’s ultimately what it takes, submission to God and the recognition of what He places on my heart as integral parts of His Plan and works of His Will, not mine.

So consider this blog an outlet to continue working on that growth and self-development, and continue down the road of self-discovery. I will silence my inner critic and confidently tell my story, sharing with the world and anyone willing to listen what all God has done, is doing, and will continue to do in my life!

I would love for you to follow along with me, not only on this journey to and through the World Race, but in every aspect of my life, watching and bearing witness to the work that God is doing in and on and through me as I live in submission and service to Him! Join me in doing His work and bringing His kingdom here to this earth just as it is in heaven.

Love y’all, and thanks for your continued love and support! We’re just getting started.

In Him,

 

 

*If you’re not already familiar with the enneagram, I highly encourage you to check it out. It’s become fairly popularized and trendy recently, so chances are you’ve at least heard of it or been exposed to it in some circles. Regardless of your thoughts on it, it’s a tremendously useful tool for developing insight on who you are and reflecting on some of the events and messages they may have played a part in shaping you. That knowledge, in turn, is then used to help you in your self-work and development into the best version of yourself and the person God has called you to be! You can take a quick test, or for even better more accurate insight, check out a book about on it. The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery is the one that really helped me to grasp not only the concepts but also the benefits of knowing your type. Would recommend.