It would seem that I would be nearly the perfect racer by now because I am going into my 6th race. However, I hate to disappoint you but I am far from it. I’m not the perfect racer or a flawless Christian. Every month that I come into I am not necessarily excited for the ministry we are doing. I usually come in with no expectation that ministry will be enjoyable. Just like the past 5th months I had the same thoughts and feelings coming into Swaziland. We are living at the El Shaddi orphanage on the mountain tops of Swaziland. We overlook a beautiful landscape each morning and I thank God for his creation. However, like I have said in my blog entitled, “Beautiful Girls of India”, children are not my area of gifting. So walking to chapel or ministry I would have a tightness in my chest hoping none of the kids would spot me and ask me to play with them. One afternoon, I went to chapel and a little girl sat beside me. After chapel I we swung on the swings and she taught me songs. That was that and I left to eat dinner. The next day, she was on the search to get my attention! At two different times and through two different people told me that the little girl was looking for me. I was in the middle of playing catch with Becca and didn’t desire to play with kids. So I tried justifying my feelings by saying I was busy or tired. I mean I didn’t even do anything special to have this girl want my attention so badly. After awhile of fighting with myself, I went to the rock in our yard that overlooks this beautiful country. I had to be completely honest with myself why I didn’t want to go. Here are my reasons: • I don’t know how to communicate with kids clearly • I am playfully mean to kids • They scare me • How do you discipline kids that you barely know when they act up • I’m not great at entertaining kids The night before I shared with my squad that we need to show God’s love for one another. And conviction entered my heart the moment I remembered that truth. So I picked myself up and met with Ziki. She handed me paper and I thought it would be a note but what I found was a necklace that she made for me. PUNCH TO THE FACE! My PRIDE was knocked off and my heart was HUMBLED at that moment! Wow, I’m such a jerk! Not only has she given me a necklace, she also gave me a note that says, “I love you Ruby”. The next day she gave me another note that encouraged me so much.
