"I knew month 8 in Thailand would be a change. I didn't realize that the woman would be all split up with new teams for the month but it happened. A few days before finding out the teams and ministry sites for month 8, I prayed like all good Christians should do. My prayer went along the lines of the following:
Jesus, I would love to go to SHE Ministry in Thailand because Radha went there and it would be so cool to go to the same place where she ministered for 3 months. Also I love it if I got people I'm close with and have fun with on the same team.
Thank you, Lord. Then when I opened my eyes I seen the word, Surrender! Tatted on my arm! Then I went back into prayer and surrendered my desires and will for the Lord's will to be done. I let go of my wants so that something better may happen. I said, whatever team you put me with is better than what I want and wherever you put me in Thailand is better than what I would chose.
So, a few days pass and I check my email and received an email from my squad leader, Amanda. In that email I found out my new team. We were not in the ministry I wanted to be in at all and I wasn't with the people I was close with. My initial reaction was disappointment and then turned into frustration and then anger! I went with Hannah to the swings (where I do all my thinking) and talked with her about the team decisions. I screamed on those swings and thought this month would be my breaking point. Then I thought in my head, well I don't want anymore challenges and so I will be this team's worst nightmare. I vented to my team how I was going to be devious and make this new team cry.
Like great teammates, Becca and Dave pulled me aside and talked some sense into me. That moment with Hannah on the swings was a moment of weakness and the flesh prevailing but I was hit with truth from my teammates. I explained to them how I feel like I am the person that the squad leaders use to support others in their leadership roles or to push others who are timid to grow. Since training camp I was known as the encourager but I was tired of that position. I was growing weary of the responsibility.
Present Day: It is now about a week with my new team and they are wonderful. I am getting to know people I haven't had the opportunity to really know as well. We are able to laugh with each other and learn from one another. These girls are amazing and I am so glad I am able to be on a team with them.
"You can never lose in surrendering your all to God. You cannot do more with your life than God can do with your life".
