As a squad we knew changes would occur this month during debrief in Nepal. Squad leaders being raised up and new team leaders and possible team changes. In spite knowing all these things, I unconsciously didn’t think much change would happen.
Well, I was WRONG! Not only did all those things happen, our route once again was drastically changed. No longer are we going to Kenya, Uganda, and Rwanda. Our new route is the following: Swaziland, South Africa, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia and China.
Though I secretly didn’t think much change would happen, I also wanted to be hit with a curve ball to see how I would handle the change. That is exactly what happened. I didn’t expect to go to China but I’m sure it will be an amazing ministry opportunity.
The BIGGEST Shock of the week was my team change. Yeah, I wanted a curve ball but my insides thought I would still be with my old team with the exception of Jeff because he is now a squad leader. Our mentors and squad leaders decided to hand out pieces of paper with our new teams written on them and then read it alone and spend time with Jesus. I received my paper and headed downstairs to sit at a table and in my impatience and anticipation, I opened my paper and my new team was revealed.
Team Leader: Becca Leigh
Ruby Lopez
Guille Rodriguez
Hannah Gunnin
Kelsey Roberts
Dave Roberts
Liz Hutchinson
These are the words that escaped my lips, “This is NUTS!” I kept repeating that over and over again. I was definitely taken back from this team change. I thought in that moment, I should process this with the Lord. So I went to my room to grab my ipod and Julie was there and I asked to see her team. What I found made my heart sink into brokenness. It was our exact same team with the exception of Jeff and I but with a new team member, Lacey O’Donnel.
The thoughts that ran through my mind was. “why did I get changed and my team remained the same”. I tried coming with explanation why this changed occurred but it didn’t comfort my spirit. I got up from our room and walked out in tears. I cried so much and couldn’t bear to meet with my new team and greet them with excitement because I was grieving the loss of my old team. I walked with my new team to get lunch and walking past my old team and my heart being sad. If you know by reading my previous blog, I held resentment toward some of them and rejected my choice to be stubborn and not make the most of our team during our time in India.
I won’t lie to you the first week with my new team was difficult because my old team became my family and I love them dearly. I was honest with them about the difficulty I was facing and they were very gracious and patient with me.
Now allow me to introduce you to team, Fearless Love. The reason for this team name is because we all want to strive to love each other better even when it is uncomfortable. To encourage each other to be the person God has called us to be and comfort each other in love.
I am so thankful for this team. They have encouraged me so much and are challenging me in many different ways. I may not like them at the moment but I know that it is refining me to be the first that God has called me to be.
Proverbs 27:6
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses”.
