Building blocks. Two words that have such a Huge meaning behind it. How can those words have anything to do with me? Well I'll tell you.
As many of you wonderful readers, family, friends and supporters know, I have been sick for quite some time. It started in India but it got better and then one day in Nepal, it just hit me. Sickness. We all know how that goes. Stomach pain. Headaches turned migraine. Throwing up. Fatigue, joint pain. You get the picture. You go to the doctor and the diagnosis is: they don’t know what you have.
And this leaves you drained emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Well folks that has been my life for a month and a half.
It got really bad to where I couldn’t walk so I went to the hospital and got admitted to find out what in the world my body was saying.
During my stay at the hospital, Papa was able to talk to me about certain issues that I have been struggling with. Such as insecurities and feelings of unworth as well as a spirit of comparison. But He assured me that He is with me and that these things are of no parallel to His love for me.
Some celebrations: This month has been amazing through it all. I am so happy to have met all the wonderful Thai people and our contacts. I have also enjoyed having the whole team to myself so that we can connect on a deeper level. I feel like I have come a long way with them through my communication and not just feeling a part of the team but becoming a part of the team. I can see now why Papa put me in this team. Papa is doing some amazing things in my heart. He is dealing with my identity in Him. Its so beautiful but painful as He brings up issues that need to be dealt with. I shared with my team about my feelings of unworth and insecurity bt also this freedom that Papa has given me that I haven't walked into BC if my fear of failure, if not being good enough and worrying about the future. And He is showing me that He is jealous for me. I never understood that. Here I was worried about something when He is jealous for my attention with my whole heart. And something that I have been praying about is loving Papa the way I want to love my future husband one day, to think of Papa the way I'll one day think of my husband, to talk to Papa all day like I will one day my husband. Because He is teaching me that He comes first. That He needs to occupy my mind and my heart.
His also teaching me that instead of throwing away my confidence, I should throw away my insecurities. And when I feel the spirit of comparison comes along, and those thoughts of not being good enough, something my TL advised me to do was ask "Who does Papa think I am or say about me."
It's a beautiful hard process but I am so happy to be where I am and with a team that is learning to love one another and that has become a family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Here are some pictures:
Teaching English to at risk kids for being trafficked
Breakfast every morning looked like this:
We learned to make bags:
We traveled in style:
Working Hard:
Surprise party fun 🙂
*Please pray about becoming a part of my team financially. I am $1,302 away from meeting my deadline. If you would like to help in another way, you can donate to my personal fund via Paypal by entering my account information of [email protected].
Thank you so much!!*
