Waking up to a sunrise coming over the mountains is a picture perfect description of a life I would love to live on a day to day basis. The crisp morning breeze letting you know that God is in control. The comfort of knowing the weight of this world no longer has a place in my brain. Something that I have been seeking for so many years. The personal struggle of continuing to follow that path when the stars have aligned and momentum is in my favor is persistent. As the 8 min mile pace on a marathon becomes the most important thing begins a subtle subconscious shift of priority change. The main goal of starting the race has been forgotten. The peace of knowing that your body has been prepared and can handle this starts to fade into the distant sky. As the body begins to wither away the patience and confidence of waiting on God is no longer an option. The selfish mindset of “I can do this on my own” and “no one here can help me carry this burden” are lies that become false realities. Of course giving up or starting over aren't an option, but is the action or the intention that matter the most?
While sweet dripped from what seemed like every pore in my body that beautiful sunrise becomes an afternoon enemy. I have encountered this many times in life, but those were for personal gain through sports and enjoyment. As that one bowl of cereal at 7 am sits in my stomach and looking forward to a lonely plate of rice for lunch becomes the bane of my existence. I like food so much and the comfort of American life is a pleasing thought. But so far gone are those simple pleasures of home. Now moving rocks from point A to point B for the 3rd day in a row was no longer something I wanted to do. Subjecting myself to physical labor that I selfishly know won't be appreciated, could be torn down or mistreated by some Honduran street kid flat out doesn't provide much motivation. Through the process of smashing a few fingers and having ideas I brought to the table thrown out immediately. I still tread forward like a machine devoted to finishing the task set in front of me.
While the brainless drone that I have been bread to be comes out in me…a small, quite voice reminds me that there is some much more to what I am doing. It taps me on the shoulder through a background whistle, or a stiff wind that blows dust into my eyes. This voice that has been ignored for so many years, and has been viewed as my own wisdom is knocking at my heart's door. Its telling me to slow down, relax, and trust in the faith that has been developed in me since I was a kid. So that is my challenge this month to let the love of Christ shine through the repetitive tasks that have been assigned to me. Not for my glory, but to serve the kids that live here that need to see His unselfish love.
