3rd generation y squad – official world racers!
When people ask, I always start by explaining where we slept, what we ate, how we showered, and everything that goes along with the physical setting of World Race training camp.
The port-a-potties, the ice cold bucket showers, the hose water that my nalgene never kept cold, the coffee machines we couldn’t use, eating without silverware from a shared plate with seven other people, the red Georgia dirt that most probably stained everything I own, the spiders I threw out of my tent, nightly camp fires, and sleeping in my hammock under the stars.
The pack that seemed impossible to carry pre-training camp is the same pack that no longer seems heavy.
I tell them about my fifty beautiful, incredible squad mates. The men and women who will be living life alongside me the next 11 months. The people that know a part of me by the four letters of my Myers Briggs personality test – even though I can’t remember what those letters are. The people who in ten days figured out how I give love and even more so, how I receive love and choose to love me that way.
The people who don’t judge me for my awkward dance moves or my inability to remember lyrics to even the most popular songs. The people who in ten days, started out as strangers and quickly became family. The men and women who know my heart and brought me in to know theirs.
I tell them about the hilarious events of how y squad became squad wars champions – a title we most definitely did not deserve, nor really work for. Future racers: never underestimate the underdogs, even when they don’t make up a squad dance and you woke up early every day to practice.
squad wars champs!
You see, all those things, those are easy to talk about. What I haven’t really talked about is the spiritual, emotional aspect of training camp. Not because I don’t want to – because I’m not sure how to. Processing is a real thing, and it’s okay if it takes some time.
We talked about our false self, the identity we portray to prevent people from getting close, or being who we think other people want us to be. We talked about how to process our emotions instead of stuffing them down until they overflow onto the people around us.
We talked about how we have to love each other, even when we don’t want to, in order to proclaim the love of Jesus to the nations. That it’s okay to grieve for the life we are leaving behind because even though we are gaining something in this next season of life, we are still losing something. And most importantly, that sometimes in life, it’s okay to not be okay.
It has only been four days. As excited as we all were for real showers, ice cold water, and coffee – I desperately miss the community that is World Race training camp. Even the aspects of community that aren’t easy, nor glamorous. If I could make every month on the race all squad month (living with and doing ministry with all fifty of my squad mates in the same place), I would. Hands down.
When I look back on the night before training camp, when we fit twenty-five strangers into a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment (shoutout to the generous AK) – I smile. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into but there’s no going back now.
Y squad – I may have only been in your presence for ten days, but those ten days were more joyful and more life-giving than I could have ever known to ask Him for. You are fearless, supportive, courageous, expectant, and oh so quick to love.
I arrived cautiously to training camp, not quite ready to leave home. I left training camp ready to launch with my squad, not ready to return home just yet.
“you’re a good good Father,
it’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
and I am loved by You,
it’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am”
We go to launch in only 47 days!! But the race doesn’t start in September. The race starts right now, here at home.
