I may never march in the infantry, ride in the calvary, shoot the artillery. I may never fly over the enemy, but I’m in the Lord’s army. Yes sir. I’m in the Lord’s army. Yes sir.
Those are the words to a children’s song we’ve sang with kids all over the world this year (dance moves included). And this month, we aren’t just in the army – we’re in the center of the battle.
Spiritual warfare is something I was never aware of growing up. Looking back, I think there were probably several times I experienced it (in fact, I know I have), but I never had a name or label for what was happening.
And then the race happened.
And then spiritual warfare happened.
In Kris Vallotton’s book on spiritual warfare, Spirit Wars, he says “many people in first world countries have a hard time imagining that there is a ‘prince of the power of the air’ controlling the thoughts of everyday people.The idea that the world is inhabited by invisible beings is, to them, a metaphor or even a fairy tale like Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny. People in developing nations, on the other hand, have no problem believing in a spirit realm because the effects of demons are so overt…nearly everyone who lives in such a place has experienced the demonic realm firsthand.”
As soon as we set foot in this country, spiritual warfare was upon us; ready for our arrival, ready to beat us down, and ready to distract us from God’s purpose this month.
Different squad mates have experienced different levels of spiritual warfare throughout the race. For me, the battle has occurred in Asia.
Since we’ve arrived in Asia, I haven’t been sleeping. I never quite came to the realization that it was spiritual warfare – maybe I didn’t realize it and maybe I just didn’t want to acknowledge it.
Regardless, sleep has been minimal the last 5 months.
And then, this month – we arrived to Cambodia. Specifically to Areyskat, an island located on the river, just a 15 minute ferry ride from the city of Phnom Penh.
This month, I’m with a team of seven girls, RTB Wolfpack. All eight of us are sleeping in a home with our hosts family. We live with his parents, some of his siblings, and their children. Our host and his wife live down the street, at the church.
In total, I think sixteen of us live in this house. Some sleep in the main room with us, some upstairs, some outside. As we set up our sleeping pads to get ready for our first nights sleep, the children got ready for bed too. They were sleeping on the ground, right at our feet. With nothing but a pillow.
Immediately, we were all thankful for our sleeping pads and a reality check hit us square in the face with how blessed we really were.
I’m not sure if these kids have ever slept on a mattress in their 7+ years of life. And here we are, with beds waiting for us back home, while we are halfway across the world.
Our first week here, spiritual warfare was at an all time high.
Several girls were sick, their bodies weak – a virus going around (don’t worry moms, they’re better now). Some girls were unable to sleep. One developed a rash resembling a million little bug bites up and down her legs and back.
For me, spiritual warfare came in the form of night terrors. Each night, the dreams were different, but just as vivid. And just as terrifying. I woke up frightened, trying to recount what had just happened.
Most nights, I was too afraid to go back to sleep because as soon as I would, the nightmares picked back up exactly where they left off – without skipping a beat.
Last week was one of my hardest weeks on the race and a definite low point.
Which is right where the enemy wanted me.
In Kris Vallotton’s podcast on spiritual warfare, he says “Satan is trying to take away our confidence, taking away our ability to use the weapons we have. He knows that if we raise our sword, he is dead. So he convinces us that we don’t have the strength to do it.”
That’s exactly what was happening to me. I was convinced that I was defeated, that my entire month would consist of night terrors, and that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
And for the first time on the race, I wished the month to be over before we were even a week in.
I was counting down the days.
After I told my teammates what was going on, the battle I was fighting – one of them said something to me that changed the way I was fighting.
“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” -Ephesians 6:13
With that verse, he told me that Jesus isn’t asking me to fight the fight. He is asking me to take up the armor of God and stand firm. That Jesus was going to fight for me. I just needed to prepare myself; I just needed to stand firm.
My perspective was wrong. Because you see – I wasn’t defeated. I never will be. Jesus has already won.
We will forever be victorious with Jesus.
And as soon as I changed my perspective and stood firm in the authority the Lord has given me, the night terrors stopped.
And this week, they haven’t returned.
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” -Psalms 4:5
