After the World Race, I can't help but divide my life into months. I find myself saying, "Well, December looked like this, in January God taught me this, now in February I feel like I'm embarking on this…."
But most of you guys probably haven't heard me say anything about December or January, because I totally "peaced out" and neglected this blog. I was too chicken (and also a little too lazy) to write out for the world how hard this transition was for me.
Actually, I mostly didn't want to admit it to myself.
Here are some of the things I didn't want to admit:
December.
– I LOVED America for the first three days. I seriously couldn't imagine leaving. Everything is so comfortable! People are so efficient! The water is ALWAYS hot and the lights ALWAYS work! What's not to love?
Enter day six… " What am I doing with my life? I'm not doing anything productive. Can I go back to Romania? Can I go back to Cambodia? Why don't people want to stop what they are doing and make Christmas cookies with me? I have NO money to do anything with. How does ANYONE get a job around here? That costs six dollars?? That's like EIGHTEEN Ringgit, or 180 Baht! Far too expensive. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY IN AMERICA??????"
Whew.
– My family is busy. They don't have a limitless amount of time to hang out with me.
– The WR community that I invested in and finally learned to love unconditionally (it took about nine months) is gone! Scattered! All over the country. In other countries! NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
– Each one of my three best friends from home lives in a different time zone. The closest is five hours away. Lame.
– I have absolutely no idea what to do next.
Sound whiny? A little. Maybe a lot. I thought so. And that just makes everything worse.
"Why am I complaining about my life when I have plenty of food and water and warm house and clothes and computer and car and college degree??? Jesus, please give me a giant dose of gratefulness!! Pretty please?!"
Sigh.
So that's was happened in December. I also spent Christmas with my family, met up with a lot of old friends from high school, remembered how much I love driving, spent a lot of time with my cat when everyone was at work/school, sent a lot of packages to friends abroad, and washed every cloth thing I own in the washing machine. Why? Because washing machines are like magic boxes that clean your clothes for you, and they never get old. Actuallly…. only 2 billion of the world's seven billion people have access to washing machines. Thank Jesus for your washing machine today.
Anyway.
January.
January was a crazy quest month. I logged 3700 miles on my car and 16 states in January. I went to Georgia for Project Searchlight, which is hosted by Adventures in Missions, and then to Philly, which is where I went to college. I thought I might stay in Philly, or maybe even Georgia, so I was driving around the country with all of my stuff in the trunk of my car.
Yes. All of the stuff in the trunk of my car, not knowing where it would end up. You read that right.
So after a month of traveling, seeing friends, soul-searching, exhausting all potential possibilities of a next step, feeling like my undecisiveness was making me look like an irresponsible wackjob…. God said go back to Iowa.
Not exactly what I had in mind, but here I am.
February.
So now it's February, and my way of dividing my life up into nice one month segments is holding true. Two months in Iowa. I'm substitute teaching, working at a flower shop, cleaning, ANYTHING to get a little dough back in the pockets.
And then what's after the two months you ask? Well, drum roll please……
You'll have to check out my next blog!!! 🙂
A few photos for you…
Said cat. Isn't she the cutest?
Christmas presents for my immediate family. This is how I LIKE to wrap, if there's time. 🙂
My grandparents and me at our Christmas celebration.
Wide open Iowa road.
