The last saturday in the DR, I was bit on the face by a mosquito. Apparently the area next to my eye has great nutritional value and it swole up, quasi-moto style. Maybe that’s a bit of a gross exaggeration, but it felt that way and made me feel a bit self-conscious. My right eye puffed up just enough so there wasn’t a crow’s feet in sight; great, instant botox, just what I always wanted. NOT. I’m about to turn 31 this June, and though I do think I have a wrinkle or two around the eyes, I feel more like a kid than anything. A five-year-old kid, to be exact. My energy levels are usually pretty high, as well as my love for exploring, shiny objects and climbing on things. I’ve never considered botox, but the month in the DR did bring out my issue with vanity. Aside from looking like I had been sucker punched in the face, my farmer’s tan, inability to shave and lack of cute clothes has definitely been a struggle for me. My response to myself is always “It’s okay, when I get home in 11 months, I’ll go to the tanning bed and have all the skinny jeans I darn well please.” Really? This is a HORRIBLE attitude to have! I’m not loved back home for a little black dress and golden tan. And that definitely wasn’t the case in the DR. I learnt how to love myself for who I genuiely am and not what I look like, what I wear, or who I associate myself with. This was demonstrated through a beautiful grandma named Pura. Pura in english means Pure, and that’s exactly how she loved me (and the rest of my team.) We had nothing to offer her, some of my team didn’t speak spanish, we weren’t dressed to the nines, but all she wanted to do was love us, hairy-legs, uneven tans and all. Though I do believe this is how I love others, this is definitely not how I love myself. I don’t see myself beautiful when I’m two-toned and haven’t had a pedicure. Pura demonstrated love to me in the way that God is constantly demonstrating His love for me; unconditional. He doesn’t care what I look like, what I’m wearing or how well groomed my hair is. He loves me because I am valuable to Him. He knows every hair on my head, even the tangled ones.
