Has God ever given you a wake up call? You know, one of those moments where you decide to go your own way instead of God’s way and eventually realize, rather abruptly, why His way was so much better than your own, and God just goes, “I told you so”? Yeah. I had one of those moments two weekends ago.
Over Thanksgiving weekend, I was having a blast reconnecting with my squadmates, exploring a new part of Nicaragua, and just unwinding. But I was getting a little too comfortable, and God wasn’t having it. Nope. He decided this was the perfect time to call me out on some ugly areas of my heart that I had chosen to ignore up until now. I was enjoying my freedom just a little too much, and, honestly, there were times that I was blatantly ignoring God’s desires for me. Instead of seeking Him face to face, I was giving Him the cold shoulder. I messed up that weekend, and as we were heading to Honduras that Sunday I was feeling pretty darn convicted about it.
And that’s when I realized I was living as if the World Race was some magical fantasy life where temptation doesn’t exist. I seemed to think subconsciously that leaving home for 11 months meant I was entering into a bubble where it was always easy to follow God and avoid sin. I had this idea that the Race wasn’t “real life.” HAH! Boy did I need a reality check. The truth is, there’s no distinction between Race life, home life, college life, camp life, “real” life… It’s all life, and we’re all called to live it in passionate pursuit of our Creator. I sure lost track of that for a bit.
The thing is, though, God never made me feel like a bad person. He’s so kind like that. Instead, He gave me a firm “I told you so,” reminded me that He loves me and that’s why His way for me is best, and urged me to make some changes in my heart to follow Him better.
As we boarded the bus across Honduras, I pulled out my Bible, and God threw 1Corinthians 10 in my face. It was a chapter I had read a few days ago, and I was just going to skim back through it before moving onto chapter 11. As I started reading, though, the words were speaking to me in a completely different way. The Lord was connecting directly to my spirit as I digested this scripture. He wasn’t just giving me a wake up call; He was calling me into action.
Right from the start (verses 1-5), Paul reminds us that God is infinite. He’s the same God yesterday, today, and forever! He delivered the Israelites, and He can deliver me! But just as experiencing God’s wonder and grace wasn’t enough for them, it’s not enough for me either. That doesn’t prevent me from giving into temptation. I must live in that grace, truly digest it, and put it into action in order to resist worldly temptations and glorify God. I must let it transform me.
Well, this is my season of transformation. I refuse to end this spiritual journey the same man I was when I began, so here I am diving into God’s grace and allowing Him into my heart. He has pushed me into a time of deep reflection and challenge with Him, and I’m finally saying yes. I’m finally letting Him deep into my spirit. I’m finally taking the time to clear my heart of the ugliness inside it, so I can be filled with God’s heart. I’m finally letting God remove my heart of stone, so He can give me a new heart of flesh (Ezekial 36:26)!
It’s not easy. Sometimes it really sucks. But I know the challenge is good. I see what’s on the other side. I see my God beckoning me. And I can’t wait to run into His arms.
I’m chasing my Father’s heart.
