Searchlight, a Redeemer, and TRASH

  In an assignment written for Searchlight I discovered my top 3 passions and desires. I want to share my heart, my experiences, and my desire to build relationships and pour into young girls in America. My top three passions are:

1.       1. Ministry: to high school and college aged girls/mentor/disciple them

2.      2.Missions overseas

3.       3.Marriage

For me personally I cannot understand what someone is explaining if I have not heard it from the beginning (HINT: if you read this blog commit to reading the next few or none of the rest of my blogs will make sense). SO in the next few blogs I would like to share with you all my heart, my experiences, my testimony and the way God has shown himself so powerfully in my life as my REDEEMER.

Koinonia

 I also ask for 5-10 of you to commit to pray for me as I continue on this journey. Because I believe it is only the beginning and I desire for everything I do to be built on God. He is the foundation.  

I went to training camp this month. I had so much guilt and shame from the life I had been pursuing and living that I felt in me ashamed to even be called to go on a missions trip. I immediately thought that I would be the “worst Christian” at this thing and felt that everyone would be near perfect.

And in some weird way that I couldn’t understand I felt my heart so moved to continue to pursue God and I felt he was continually pursuing me.  

After a few amazing days at training camp I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat down with Kathy Hindes, (one of the sweetest & amazing woman of God) and just explained how I should not be here.

Maybe you have felt shame and guilt before for your past sin, struggles and strongholds that have been in your life. Well that’s how I felt.

Jenni Rose & I

So as I sat down with this woman I had never met and I shared with her that I regretted so much of the past few years of my life. She encouraged me and shared truth with me that I had never heard said so genuinely and honestly. She told me that some of her biggest mistakes and failures where the things that God has used so powerfully in her life. “God is the great recycler of all of our trash” she told me. And that brought me to tears as I could not imagine in that moment how God could ever use my mistakes.

More to come……