I shared with my teammate the other day that I feel as though I am walking blindfolded right now in my relationship with God. And the way He is speaking to me is changing. Change isn’t bad it’s just different. And change can be uncomfortable in its newness. I remember Michael Hindes at our launch in Dominical Republic told us a story of how as we mature as believers God, our Father speaks and works differently to continue to grow and stretch us. He talked about his son and as he taught his kids to walk at the beginning he stood next to them and held their hand as they attempted to walk. Then he would walk beside them. Gradually he was in front of them, waiting as they walked by themselves to him.
(Family we stayed with in Ukraine, daughter- Mercy, me and Taryn)
I admire and am challenged and comforted by honesty. Especially honestly amongst believers,
because lets all be honest walking through a narrow gate is not easy. Seth Barnes wrote this in a
recent blog:
Connecting with God is tough some times. A lot of days even though I don’t feel
him, I pursue him anyway. And then some seasons I wander in silence
wondering where the heck he is, wondering why he doesn’t break through into
my reality. It is perplexing and angst-producing. Memories of his great works in
my life seem like distant echos.
And I know I have grown so much in my relationship with God; I know His nature and character are consistent but how He works never is. My brother wrote me the other day that we can trust God during these confusing/frustrating/hard times because we know that He does it because of the great work He has in store for us and he needs to build character and our relationship with Him for the work He is preparing for us.
(some high school girls we did ministry with in Ukraine)
In the end I think back to a reminder from our squad leader- Peter says to Jesus, “Lord where else would I go?” And that’s how I feel, no matter what happens from this point on, for the rest of my life I know in my heart there is no place I would rather go or be than with Jesus, my Savior.
Lyrics from a song, Let me love you more.
I’m in love with a Man I’m in love with a Stranger
I’m in love with my Maker whom I have never seen
I’m in love with my Savior whom I have yet to know
I have one life to live all I have to give to You is love
If I never walk on water if I never see the miracles
if I never hear your voice so loud
Just knowing that You love me is enough to keep me here
When it’s been said and when it’s all been done
When the race is run it all comes to love
