Being over seas you hear a lot of different languages that you don’t always understand. I have had many translators through out this year that have helped me share the Love of Jesus around the world, and for that I am extremely grateful.
Recently I was having a conversation with one of the students at our ministry. As that was happening, a girl walked by and said something in a language I did not understand. Let’s be honest, if a person is not directly talking to me- I’m not going to ask what they just said. I mean, that makes sense right? If it’s not for me, then I really don’t have a right to know what they are saying. So I chalked this up to just another time of someone walking by me and having no idea what they were saying. That was up until about 5 seconds before the student I was in conversation with ended up translating it for me. He started off by saying, “I don’t know why she makes comments like that, but she said, “Everyone here is beautiful but you.”
Now, I’m not telling you this so you can feel bad for me. In fact, please don’t. I’m telling you this because I want to have a real, hard and raw conversation. I’m telling you this because this happens all over the world, every single day- and it breaks my heart. I’m telling you this because people knowing and understanding their worth in Jesus is my number one passion in LIFE! So….
Lets have a real conversation. If you have read my blog “I’m too fat to go on the WR”, then you know that the Lord has brought me through a lot of freedom in my life when it comes to self worth. That was in Month 4 of the race and now I am currently in my final month. Even since writing that blog, there has been MORE and more freedom found in my life. I know this has happened because there have been more and more times that hard things have been said to me. The Lord has given me so many opportunities to fully rely on him in moments where I don’t want to continue. Now let me be real with you. I’m human so when something like this is said, it still hurts. My heart still drops and I still want to be invisible so the awkwardness of everything can go away. Sometimes I still even question if it is truth. I think that’s normal. It’s how we respond to these hurts that really matters. It’s cool when you can take something awful and let the Lord work through you and speak to you.
I have talked to girls and guys all over the world this year. I have heard their stories and I have listened with an open heart. Some have made me cry, while others have made me so angry because I know the Enemy is real and all he wants to do is destroy.
I had the opportunity last month to speak to a group of girls who don’t have people around to speak truth over them all the time. One of the first days we were in Cambodia, Kori and I gave our students an assignment to describe themselves. I wasn’t expecting to read what I did. So many of them would say things like, “I know I am not pretty, but I am very kind.” I’m sorry, that is not ok with me. The Lord put on our hearts to have a night where we could just be real with one another. How are people supposed to know their worth if no one is ever speaking it over them? Freedom took place that night. I know God worked miracles and all glory goes to HIM. Not only did they realize that they are so loved by the Father, but now they know to speak truth over each other. It’s amazing what obedience can do and that’s what I want us to start thinking about today.
I think we need to start rising up as a generation who speaks the truth about identity and worth in Jesus over people.
Once, I met a girl who did not like the way she talked. One time a boy told this girl, “It sounds like you are deaf when you are speaking”. The crazy thing is, she had thought that her whole life to and now someone else had just spoke that lie over her again. How do you get over something like that? How do you find your worth when someone says something you have already been so self-conscious about for a long time?
What if we knew that the one thing we were making fun of someone for, is the one thing that has controlled who they thought they were defined as their whole life. I know this because it has happened to me.
I know sometimes we can sit with our friends and kid about things like, how weird it looks for a second toe to be longer than our big toe, or how a mole on someone’s face is the most awful thing that could ever happen to someone. But what if that one thing has been something they have been fighting with their whole life?
I don’t think we realize what words can do. I think we need to start getting uncomfortable and standing up when something is being said that we know is not ok. And I think it is going to start with you and me. I think it’s going to start with us stopping conversations with our friends before they start. All I know is, we would not want someone talking about us, so how dare we talk about others?
What if we actually sat down and understood that The God of this Universe created each of us individually and uniquely? What if we realized that he made our second toe longer than our big toe and said “It is good”? He didn’t say it is disgusting like some of us may have the habit of saying. What if we realized that He placed every freckle on our face and said “IT is beautiful”? He created your nose, eyes, ears, height, weight and LOVES YOU exactly the way you are. I think when we realize this; we will actually get it and LOVE who we are and love others around us exactly as THEY are. He designed us and LOVES US. How dare we criticize his creation?
I realize I cannot change the world or make people stop saying things if they don’t want to, but I’m asking you to help me start. I will not stand for people not knowing their worth in Jesus.
It’s so frustrating to me and I have such a righteous anger over this. One girl is comparing herself to the “popular one” and is willing to give up anything to be her. While the “popular one” is comparing her self to others because she is so unsatisfied with who she is.
I mean, I don’t know about you, but this seems like a battle that will never be won- by anyone. My amazing mentor said something to us “C squad” girls one time and I always go back to it. She said, “I am done playing the comparison game because no one ever wins.” She said, “I have decided to love who I am and win the battle”. Love who we are and love others how they are. Bottom line.
I am sitting here today full of hope. I have a joy that no boyfriend, parent or friend can give me, and it comes from…JESUS. I’m sitting here today, knowing that no human can every fill me or satisfy me like Jesus does. And truly only He can show me my worth. It is not until we realize that our worth is found in him that we can truly understand how to love ourselves and others. I’m ok with people saying things, because I know who I am in Christ. Yes I will speak truth over people, but the number one truth is this: Jesus is the one who helps show us who we are. He is also the one who uses people to show them who they are through him. He is the one who satisfies. He is the one that that loves me well and I know he uses people to help do this.
So let’s go. Lets be bold. Let’s understand who we are and start telling people. You are so worth it. Today I know that everyone in that room was beautiful and that includes me. I not longer sit and dwell on comments made and THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. I know that this freedom is for everyone, so get ready to receive it.
Psalm 139: 19-20
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
