These last few days have proved to be quite eventful, even more mentally/emotionally than physically. I want to speed up time, hit rewind, stay where I'm at for just a tad bit longer, and 5 million other contradicting things… all at once… I'm stuck somewhere btw reflection of the past, making the most of the present, running forward to my future, and being wildly catapulted into another unknown abyss all at the same time! It's absolutely crazy! Although it's prob. rare for most ppl to regularly want to speed up time and freeze it all at once, it usually happens at some point. My college graduation is prob. the best example I have for that in my own life, but even then it was absolutely nothing like what I've been feeling lately! I honestly barely even have the words for it b/c every couple sec. (if that) a different emotion rages inside of me most prominently. [This blog is largely one of remembrance, but soon I will write about some exciting news as well as more specifics of the trip.]
This wknd has been a time of reflection, not only for myself and my teammates, but for the nation and world. It's already been 10 long, sometimes amazing; sometimes brutal years since the world most Americans knew changed forever. I had just started 10th grade not even a week earlier, and ironically was in band playing military marches and The Star Spangled Banner when the towers were hit and fell… it wasn't until later that I learned of the attacks and then watched the news & discussed what was going on w/ various ppl the entire rest of the day.
It's also a time of reflection for me personally b/c of both a monthly and yearly anniv. of some very hard losses w/in my college family. (I was a student there Aug. 2004 – May 2008) On June 12, 2005 I got a long instant message that shook me to the core. A friend that had been in the hospital battling Crohn's disease and eventually Lymphoma (cancer) passed away… Then, flash forward to Sept. 12, 2008 when I got 2 calls from band friends to make sure I had yet more difficult, and this time, extremely sudden news: our marching band director suddenly had a heart attack and didn't make it. Thankfully, neither Pam nor Sid are in anymore pain as they are now sitting in heaven smiling down & looking over those they left behind. God even sent a precious baby girl after Sid's passing so that a part of him is still walking this earth. I'm sure when the time eventually comes, hopefully many many years in the future, he'll be there w/ arms wide open to meet & welcome his baby girl into the pearly gates.
"Heaven Was Needing a Hero" by: Jo Dee Messina
"I've always been told
You won't be called home
Until it's your time
I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through"
"Shine Your Light" by: Robbie Robertson (video below)
This goes out in honor of all those we've lost along the way… including military personnel past & present, those we lost 10yrs ago yesterday at all THREE crash sites: those on the planes, those in the buildings, those on the street below, and those clinging ever so closely to their tv's and loved ones all around the country. It's also for those who cont. to run in when most others run out and those who willingly put themselves in the line of fire (literal fire, gunfire, etc.) for no other reason than to protect & serve others.
For me personally, it very much goes out in honor of my incredibly awesome, utterly amazing, always loving/encouraging, superb mentor, friend, & college marching band director at Gardner-Webb. I seriously can't believe it's already been 3 long years since u were suddenly called home Sid, but I know for a fact that you'll never ever be forgotten by all those who knew you! You touched sooooo many ppl while on this earth, far more than u prob. ever could've realized and for that I thank you. Likewise, it's also in honor of my dear friend Pamela who was called home 6 1/4 years ago today. I think of you both nearly everyday of my life and I long for the day I see u again! Neither of you prob. have a clue of just how much u impacted my life! And, I know our lives cont. to do so thru those u left behind! R.I.P.
