3/24/11 – WR blog
Okay, so those that know me obviously know a lot more about my story and overall life these last couple of years than those that don't know me. So, w/out much detail or carrying on about it, I wanted to share some things with you… However, I also wanna make something clear before I do: I don't need pity, sympathy, etc. I also don't need/want people to worry about me regardless of it's in my normal day to day life or in preparing/carrying out things for the World Race. Thru God's grace, I feel stronger now than ever b/c God has ALWAYS provided all I've ever needed and protected me when I've needed it most! 🙂 PTL! 🙂 That includes providing me w/ the most amazing family, friends, and overall support system imaginable!
I don't like to be a burden or have to rely on people to do things for me if I'm more than capable of doing them myself. It's not in the sense that I think I can do everything on my own or feel like I'm somehow above asking for help. I mean it in the sense that I don't expect people to wait on me hand 'n foot or give me things I don't deserve. I have no problem working hard to get what I want, in fact I prefer it that way. I've come to realize that not only am I a bit stubborn, but I'm also too independent for my own good sometimes. Like is usually the case when ppl become too comfortable or think they have things all planned out for awhile, something beyond their control happens. Well, that's exactly the case w/ me! Those traits and all my plans were kinda blown out of the water in an instant on July 3, 2009 when I was involved in a horrific car crash. From the previous Aug. until that time, I worked as a cognitive therapist at a day program for adults who have acquired traumatic brain injuries. That job prepared me for certain things far more than anyone could've imagined at the time, especially with regards to personal space bubbles being popped, etc. The clients had a wide variety of physical/cognitive abilities and levels of independence. Over time, I grew to hate all the necessary paperwork involved, but I genuinely loved working w/ the clients. The job included a lot of firsts for me, primarily the overall caregiver-type of responsibility. But, it was new "helper" roles as opposed to "helpee" roles and therefore a pretty easy transition. After the wreck however, I was still in the type of environment I had become accustomed to but the shoe was on the other foot. Cognitively, I was still myself but physically I had a long way to go. But luckily, my stubbornness and overly-independent attitude lit a fire under my butt to get better!
Gotta love Lecrae! Watch this video: "Don't Waste Your Life"
For awhile, I struggled with feeling like I was merely surviving as opposed to actually living after being stripped away from basically everything except the essentials. The concept of not wanting to waste my life and having it count for a greater purpose is a lot of what's prepelling me headfirst into the world race. I obviously don't need or expect things to be rosey all the time, but as long as the good outweighs the bad than I'll happily take it. As long as I've got a new built-in support system thru my squad and we're able to accomplish what it is we're being sent out to do, it's all I can really ask for. 🙂 Can't wait to meet u guys!
3/28/11 & 3/29/11 WR blog cont.
Time and time again, particularly since graduating college, I've had to rely on God just to get thru the day more times than I can count. Thanks to Him alone I'm still standing! More and more over the years, I've just taken things as they come b/c I know I can't control everything, and this situation certainly doesn't change that. In fact, it's increased that attitude 10-fold. In about 13 1/2 months I lost a few ppl that meant a lot to me, had military plans fall thru, dealt w/ the wreck/rehab, lost my job in a bad economy, and thanks to God & those He placed in my life, I bounced back from more than I ever could've imagined! Both the wreck and the world race are 2 of the MANY ways the Lord is using situations to get thru to me… especially regarding the fact that I can't do it all on my on nor should I try to. God places ppl in our lives for a reason! God is good ALL the time & ALL the time God is good! Everything happens for a reason – even when we don't understand. Life's a journey, not a destination and I believe things eventually fall into place the way they should… A friend and I just had a convo in which she basically said that she wished God had plans posted on neon signs for us to see so we'd understand / not stress about things still left unknown to us. Wouldn't that be amazing?! It sure would! But, unfortunately we prob. all know that would make things too easy! lol That's a big part of where our faith and trust in the Lord come into play… we need to cont. seeking His face and relying on Him to take care of us! However, we also need to put in the work ourselves too… relying on God doesn't mean that things will automatically take care of themselves and we magically won't need to ever lift a finger in life! It just means that He will be there to see us thru all of it, He will pick us up each time we fall or fell like we've crashed headfirst into a brick wall, and He will take over when there's nothing left for us to do! We need to daily place those things in His control in order for that to happen though!
