This is the story of how I was called to the mission field. I invite you to grab a cup of coffee and a comfy chair, and allow me to share part of my journey with you.
In hindsight, I’m smiling at all the Lord has done to prepare me for this race…
Over the past five years the Lord has been revealing to me the depth of my compassion for the broken. My heart bleeds for the downtrodden and the hopeless. But I’ve kept my distance, not ready to live wrecklessly abandoned… until now.
It all started back in 2006 when I spent a week of my Christmas break in NOLA helping with Katrina disaster relief. Never had I seen people in such a state of loss. I knew I grew up sheltered. I had read about poverty in America, but I had never witnessed that reality face to face. My heart was literally broken. For the first time I cried out in utter passion for something- for a cause, for a people, for my friends. I was on fire in the Lord for the people I met, for the healing they desperately needed.
Then, in 2008, I prepared to spend the month of May working in a Kenyan orphanage with my campus ministry. But, because of the political turmoil in the country, the trip was cancelled and I found myself instead in Paris, studying photography through my university. While I was there I fell in love with photography as well as the city itself. But mostly, the Lord used that trip to remind me that my heart was not in traveling itself, but in missions.
Since then I have been on short-term missions within the United States, but each time I have stayed inside my comfort bubble. [Camera in hand, peers by my side]. Full of fear, I have never let the Lord take control. More often now I’ve felt Him calling me to the wilderness, a restlessness growing in my spirit, a need to surrender myself to Him.
In 2009, after three years of feeling the call to missions, everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. I thought, “this is it! I’m FINALLY being called to the mission field. I’m ready to be anywhere but here!” But that was not, is not, the voice of the Lord. The pain and upset I was experiencing in my life magnified my desires to go. OF COURSE, I had to learn that the hard way. I applied for the World Race and told my parents that I was going to take time off from school to explore missions. I was determined to fight the resistance of my disapproving parents, and after several weeks and a lot of prayer (which I should have done from the beginning!) I began to realize it was nowhere near the Lord’s timing for this mission. False alarm.
That leads me here. Its 2011, and it’s time. This is my favorite part of the story, so bear with me a little longer. Jump back a bit… after I applied for the WR the first time and decided to take time off from school, when the WR didn’t work out I still didn’t go back to school. I don’t know if it was ever for me…. I mean it helped me realize what I want to do [photographer]. But why couldn’t I just do that? I already had most of the major behind me. So I shot some weddings, held some random part time jobs, shot some more weddings, went to school part time.
After a year of dawdling, I still didn’t have a clear plan for where I was headed. Would I go back to school? Would I intern with a studio and jump into a career in photography? Would I start my own wedding photography business? These were the questions I was asking myself just three months ago. Notice anything missing from that list?
I pushed forward into photography so quickly over this past year, and began to see my parents’ approval grow. I was on track, going somewhere. Slowly but surely? I had to think about what fall 2011 would look like. “Sure, dad. I’ll finish up school and take on more weddings. That’s where I want to go with this thing.” [my life] I could SEE it clearly in my mind. Point A to point B. The safe road. HOW DID I GET HERE?
And Then the Turning Point.
June 8, 2011. River Life.
[and the Conversation with Andy Sqyures that brought me back to reality.]
While visiting my best friend Downing in his hometown, I went to the Wednesday night service at his church, River Life. At the end of the service as people stood around talking and praying for one another, Downing introduced me to the worship leader, Andy Sqyures. We went through young adult questionnaire I'm so accustomed to answering…which went a little something like this.
Andy: so how do you two know eachother? [nodding to Downing]
Me: we both went to Appalachian State.
Andy: Oh, did you graduate?
Me: uh…no…I don't really know what I'm doing with my life.
Andy: oh well what do you like to do?
Robin: I'm a photographer.
Andy: Well I don't mean to bust your bones but that’s like saying you play guitar. Everyone’s a photographer these days. Got anything else?
[I’ve just met this guy. I immediately like him after that comment.]
Me: No, I mean, I'm actually a photographer. [a young one with little experience], like-I get paid. I’d love to do humanitarian photography and missions. Some day.
Andy: well, you seem a little confused. Do you have much experience in missions yet?
[at this point he’s carrying one of his boys piggy-back and another kid has wrapped herself around his right leg. He’s still talking as if it were just me and him…. I’m surprised he can even spare the time for conversation –he has six children –]
Me: not outside of the States. And then only short term. I really feel called to international missions. [here’s where my internal realization starts…. This is the first time I’ve thought about missions in over six months. ]
Andy: well, why don’t you go?
Me: [staring.]
Andy: You seem to have a lot of fear surrounding this…. Is there disapproval coming from somewhere? I just sense a lot of fear and hesitation.
Me: yeah. I mean, yeah…
Andy: Well, there’s this program i think you should check out. Have you heard of the World Race?
Me: Yes. Yes I have.
After a week of prayer I applied for the World Race, again. This time, I was ready to let the Lord take control of it all.
