Let me just say that I don’t believe, in any way, shape, or form, that God has put us in Ulcinj, Montenegro on accident. This entire trip was divinely appointed from the get-go, and has been a good faith-builder for our first ATL (Ask the Lord) month. It has been great to see the openness and curiosity of those living in a town where there are four professing Christians. (Our contact, Bukurija, actually led another woman to Christ, but that woman lives in Kosovo.)
So, we are about a 6-minute walk from the beach. I can state, without a doubt, that I adore the ocean. I would rather swim in the ocean than eat. The calming sound of the steady waves, the changing colors of blue throughout the day, the vastness of it: I just find oceans incredible. I also love the inherent metaphors that kind of go along with oceans.
So, yesterday, two cool things happened. The first is that the puppy we all love showed up and came over to us, cuddling and playing. Audrey had been praying that the puppy would come, as we all needed a little pick-me-up, and then it came. I know it’s a little thing, but ours is a God of little things. I really think He sent that dog just to lavish a bit more of His love on us that day.
The second is that the boys we have been platying beach soccer (sorry, Adam…I mean, “football”) with came to play and talk. They were swimming, waiting for the ball to arrive, and I looked up to see one excitedly running towards me and Bukurija. In his hand was what I can best describe as a lump. It looked like a slug on steroids. He had found it in the ocean and mistakenly thought that I would want to see it. He plopped it down in front of Bukurija and me and smiled broadly. Choking back a cry of disgust, I murmered a “felimderit”, which means thank you, except I say it wrong and people always laugh at my pronunciation.
The boy’s dad then runs over, saying to not touch it, it might be poisonous. That prompted me to roll it onto a sandal and start heading for the ocean. The thing, although gross and nasty, was still alive and I couldn’t let it suffer while it suffocated outside of the water. In the time it took me to get it on the shoe, the boy had already run for another one. This one was leaking motor oil, or maybe just blood or something. At any rate, it managed to be even worse-looking than the first.
I swear there’s a point; it’s coming! As I threw the two things back in the water, I felt sorry for them. No legs and no arms! At the mercy of the current and the waves. No way to fight. I like to have my arms and legs, to fend for myself, to be in movement and to do what I want.
But if I’m being led by the Spirit, won’t I be more like those sea creatures? Won’t I go where the Spirit leads and do what the Spirit tells me to do? Won’t I stop fighting so much and depending on my own strengths and so-called talents and abilities to get through? It was a tough thought, as I don’t like being still and not being in control.
We’re told to be still and know that God is God— I wonder why I can’t know that while I’m moving. Exodus 14:14 tells us that God will fight for us, we need only to be still. Can’t God fight for me while I wield a sword, too? I know the answers to these questions, but my heart still tries to resist what I know is the Truth, sometimes.
So, my new goal for this month is to allow God to use me. No opposition, no fighting, just flowing along with the Spirit, like those things are carried by the current, or like birds are carried by the wind.
