Last night, I used a new toothpaste while brushing my teeth. Its scent filled my nostrils, its minty taste, my mouth, and suddenly my stomach tightened. It took no time for me to realize why: this toothpaste tasted exactly like the kind used by my dentist. Now, I don’t feel any ill-will towards dentists, as I know they’re necessary. But I always walk into the office with hesitation, memories of spacers for braces, the filling of cavities and the none-too-great “It’s a big infection; you need a root canal” racing through my mind. I especially hate that pokey metal thing with which they hit your gums. The assistant never fails to then reprimand me for my now-bleeding gum. (Is it a moot point to mention that hitting almost any body part with a sharp metal object will cause it to bleed?) Haven’t I brushed enough? Haven’t I flossed enough? Haven’t I chugged enough milk? At any rate, I’m sure many can relate to the anxieties felt about visiting the dentist. The slightly more rapid pulse, the moist palms, the desire to not open that door and face what’s on the other side.
And I wonder if it isn’t the same for many when they walk into a church. Haven’t they read their Bible enough? Haven’t they prayed enough? Haven’t they sung enough hymns? And yet, for some reason, God seems distant and the love of Jesus isn’t seen in the quick glances of the parishioners who frequently attend. The young unwed mother…she often isn’t welcome and this fact can sometimes be made painfully clear. The man who just got a DUI…he feels the judgment as if it were tangible. These people who desperately need our love and support are turned away. And then there are the less visible things- bitterness, cliques, gossip that has hurt and betrayed, an unwillingness to change. Images of those outside soldiers’ funerals, holding “God hates fags” signs, flicker across memories. Sometimes, instead of spreading God’s love and being the Church, we somehow end up passing judgment and making Christianity seem more like a points system, like we’re still trying to earn good favor with God.
My fervent prayer is that we all find the joy and love that is in Christ again. That our churches are filled with people, in love with God and each other, who spread love and grace and mercy like a life-giving plague. That people will realize church isn’t just a building, but is rather among us and in us. We are the church. Let’s represent it well. Because it saddens me so to think that people leave church like they leave the dentist’s office: with a bad taste in their mouth and no desire to return.
