So, the other night, I was talking to Caroline, our first squad leader, and we were talking about things we’ve learned on the trip thus far. I remembered one night in Romania clearly.
In Romania, the family we were living with included a precocious little two-year old named David. David had the unique talent of being both adorable and a little terror. While I normally love being around children, I found my patience tested by him quite often. His favorite word was “bufa” (Romanian for ‘ball”) and he would say this word repeatedly while looking for, or playing with, one of his many bufas. He cried many times, and only his mother could console him. So, our picking him up generally ended in more tears (on his end) until his mother finally came out and settled him down.
David, peeking through the curtains in Romania!
But, I often felt like the kicker was when he awoke at night. He would awaken several times throughout the night (usually when I had just reached a nice, deep sleep) screaming “Mama! Mama!” He would fuss and holler for several minutes, until eventually he was calmed by his loving parents and drifted off to sleep again.
This was what I didn’t understand: he slept in the same bed as his parents; his mother was holding him in her arms.
Why was he crying out so much? His mother was right there! Couldn’t he see that?
One night, after David had woken up crying and eventually settled down, I found that I couldn’t return to sleep. I lay there, contemplating David’s lack of intelligence in the matter of where his mother was, when all of a sudden the thought crossed my mind: “Isn’t that what you do to Me?” I immediately knew this was going to be one of those learning times, when God tells me something. So, wisely, I stayed silent.
“Isn’t that what you do to Me when you cry out ‘God, where are You? I can’t feel You! I can’t hear You!’ Am I not holding You through it all? Needn’t you only be still and silent and you will hear Me? Am I not here with you?” Ouch. Suddenly I didn’t feel much smarter than a two-year old.
But isn’t that what many of us do? Aren’t many of us crying out to God, wondering where He is in a certain situation, when really He is there beside us all along? He’s with us, always. He will never forsake us. His whisper can be hard to hear, but I challenge you to listen for it today. It’s still something I’m working out: learning to listen and not just trust my feelings. Because, to be honest, sometimes He seems so close it’s as though nothing else exists. And then, there are times, when He feels so far away that doubts can creep into my mind. But, luckily, God is not a feeling.
“The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did …in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son…” [Deuteronomy 1:30-31]
“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” [Isaiah 41:13]
