When one of our squadmates came back from the States last week, she brought with her some of those “celebrity gossip” magazines that can be pertty popular- you know, Us Weekly and the like. Some people can’t get enough of them, some people think they’re pretty trashy. Regardless, they generally have a big following.
One thing I haven’t missed over these past ten months has been the States’ fascination with all things Hollywood, especially all things problematic with those who comprise Hollywood’s elite. Tthe fact that these are real people, crashing from drugs and alcohol, searching in all the wrong places for acceptance and peace is often lost. But it’s no wonder that women all over the world have body image issues- these magazines blast stars (mainly just the women) for being too thin or too large, having implants that are too big or too little, being too tan or too pale.
Here, in Cambodia, achieving beauty means skin whitener in almost every product- face wash, creams, lotions, deodorant. It means wearing sweatshirts, hats, pants and gloves in 90+ degree weather so as not to tan. It means having to be really thin, because I’ve still yet to see even ten people here whose thighs touch. (Cambodians are really thin, naturally. But Aubrey caught one girl today pinching her (non-existant) belly fat and frowning. She’s petite- but not petite enough by her culture’s standards.)
In the States, it means being thin, but curvy in “all the right places”. We want to be tan- at the risk of cancer and premature aging- and some people are willing to put their bodies through bouts of starvation in order to get that thin look. It’s resulted in elementary-age girls talking about dieting and bonding over self-deprecating remarks and the compliments those remarks inspire from others. It results in teenage boys taking potentially harmful pills and powders to bulk up and get those muscles “every handsome man has”.
In Tanzania, you better not stay thin. You are supposed to gain weight once you’re married.
We’ve been to ten countries now, seen many body types and just as many different views of beauty. Some of these women weren’t happy with their bodies. But the kicker? Even if these women weren’t happy, even if they weren’t seen as their culture’s vision of what beauty is or should be….they were all equally beautiful.
Beauty is something I’ve struggled with in the past. I thought I was too much and not enough at the same time. I at times believed that beauty is only skin deep,
I think that’s one way I’ve changed the most on the Race. I see beauty for what it is now: something projected from the inner being, a combination of our personality and actions and thoughts. I know a girl who received the best compliment of her life from a man: “You are beautiful for your thoughts alone.” I think that’s part of what Peter was talking about: “Your beauty… should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (I Peter 3:3-4).
Gentleness can be something that evades me sometimes. I’m naturally klutzy, I can be too loud, my laugh can be so high-pitched it inspires grimaces. But that’s not the gentleness I need to look for. I once heard a metaphor I loved: people can either be like a peaceful garden, leaving you feeling refreshed and relaxed after a conversation with them, or they can be like a crowded city’s traffic jam, leaving you feeling stressed and tense. I want to be like the garden to people.
Stars prove that beauty truly isn’t everything, time takes away the world’s version of beauty, and every culture has its own ideal of “beauty”.
But a quiet and gentle spirit? A life wholly yielded to God? A mouth that encourages and builds up, eyes that see the best in others, feet quick to offer help and do good, arms quick to lend a hand or give a hug?
Well, those are beautiful anywhere.
So, to the women, both at home and around the world, who have helped me discover what real beauty is:
to Mom, my Grandmas, Aunt Julia, Norma, Aunt Nancy, Stacey, Crystal, Carol and Angela, Sanda, Buki, April, Mercy, Tabitha, Agnes, Angelina, Sarah, Christmas, Cinder and so many others:
Thank you.
You are not only beautiful for your thoughts alone, but physically, too!
