As I lie here in bed 7 days away from this World Race journey, I can't help but battle this insomnia state of mind. I am extremely tired but my mind is restless as I listen to the sound of my thoughts as they fall like dominos on a table. Click, click, click, click. I can't help but wonder and worry about the future, particularly this upcoming year- this next week to be more precise. I am thinking about leaving this life of comfort, leaving the Monday through Friday monotonous American life that I live. I’m leaving this life that consists of family, friends, weekly church, the hourly job, the occasional weekend get-a-ways, the endless days and nights of boredom, the careless spending, and the precious time tucked away in my room. Oh yeah, and don’t forget eating great food!! It’s not a bad gig you might say. But I’m choosing to leave all that behind for a life that consists of God knows what…literally. Will it include good food, bad food, good times, bad times, joy, pain, sadness, happiness, anger, trust, love, healing, faith, hope, friendship, relationship, purpose, passion, great ministry, adventure, mystery, creation, discovery, refinement, little-to-no sleep, or all of the above?
So, “what did I get myself into?!!" is the question that comes to mind. It is the question that provoked this entire stream of thoughts. I know that what awaits me is probably not as bad as I think it will be, and my life here isn't quite as exciting as I portrayed it. Actually, it is rather boring. So I ask the question, "what did I myself into?!!" and this nervous excitement comes over me. I am about to embark on this incredible adventure! One filled with wonder and what love actually looks like. I get the opportunity to live out my dream as a modern day Paul, to live a Jesus-like lifestyle. Not to mention that I get to partake in this journey with an amazing group of folks who I already consider my family. I get to be with people who basically have the same dream or vision as me. Once again you might say it’s not a bad gig.
So what did I get myself into? After repeatedly asking that question, I'm still not quite sure, but that's not for me to worry about. I guess you could say I'm getting into God. Sure, it may sound cliché or like a classic "church answer, " but it is still true. Whatever this year may look like, I can't help but smile at the thought of what I've gotten myself into. In the words of John Mark McMillan, "I'm making plans to waste my life on You."
