So as many of you may know by now,
I’m back in America. Yes, this is
earlier than I was originally planned to come home. No, I’m not deathly ill. No, no one at home that I know died. So why am I home? Well, long story short, with where I was at
spiritually, it was decided that I was not at a place to continue leading and
that it was better if I came home. So what
does that mean?
Essentially, it means that I was
worn out spiritually and was no longer at a place where I was finding my rest
and strength in God. Before I came home
a few days ago, I had been going full speed in ministry for about two years
straight. I did the World Race for
eleven months, came home for a couple months, led the trip to Uganda for four
months, came home for a month, left to lead the trip to Kenya. During all that, I wasn’t resting like I
should be, and I wasn’t dealing with my personal spiritual struggles, the main
one being that I don’t always know how to find my intimacy in my relationship
with God. And that doesn’t work when
trying to do ministry at the same time.
In his book, Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship, Jack Frost writes,
“The Great Commandment to love God and love others is a call
to intimacy; the Great Commission to go and make disciples is a call to fruitfulness. Intimacy is to precede fruitfulness. The Great Commandment must precede the Great
Commission and is an inseparable part of it.
When intimacy does not precede fruitfulness, we easily become subject to
our own mission and become focused upon religious duty, hyper-religious
activity, and aggressive striving that leaves an angry edge in our life and
relationships.”
So that’s
why I’m home and that’s what my focus is going to be for the next season of my
life (however long that may be): to find
intimacy again and to find rest in God.
P.S. Please continue to be praying for my team
back in Kenya for their last month. God
still has amazing plans for them as they continue to share the love of Christ
with the people around them.
