For the past three weeks, five ordinary men seeking the Lord, ventured out into the jungle of a small village named, Kanchanaburi- with one goal in mind, to be Jesus however that could look like. We were His hands for hammering and pouring cement, our feet to carry wood and such as the new church was built for the few believers that are surrounded by many Buddhist. Having not a clue or expectations of what this would be, we arrived our first night and automatically were told we would be working hard…hard…and again- hard- (understatement). We worked, worked, and worked as much as our bodies allowed us to each day. This year I have participated in many building projects across the world and haven’t seen much of anything accomplished. There are multiple reasons why that is the case-but nonetheless, this place was at the opposite end of the spectrum. From the rain that made the soil into mud, to the holes that were dug through the rain, to the foundation being poured for 10 holes, to the pillars going into place, to the frame itself becoming a church, to the roof being laid was INCREDIBLE to be apart and to experience. To have been apart of this church with my own hands and sweat brings an emotion to me that is difficult to describe…. Rockin’ :>) This is the essence of what has taken place physically there and I am completely honored that the Lord used us to be apart of such a huge kingdom advancement in Kanchanaburi.
Now, for the spiritual lessons that I learned last month.
Just about the time I begin to think, “What else could the Lord teach me?” Well, He shows me again and again that I can enter into a new level of who He really is in my life and how I do have the capability and strength (only by Him) to keep transforming more like Him. Each day, I still fight, then struggle and surrender daily to Him. Love, grace, and mercy abound evermore- but the more I seek truth and rid myself of the false self that I have portrayed for years, ironically- the easier it is to walk with my head high and take all that is given to me each day as joy, with the newness of breath and live as a Son of God.
Obviously, God created the majesty of nature to captivate the human race to portray several characteristics to us the power that He has, and so… He captivated me through nature this month. I have seen forest all my life. From the rainforest of Peru, through the jungles of Africa, to the steadfast trees of Thailand, existing at all ends of the earth- they bring mystery and wonder- producing oxygen to keep us alive, each holding life. Inside, they are dark and sometimes a bit scary, but as light enters into and penetrates the darkness- it flees and reveals the beauty inside that God intended it to be.
As I was in Thailand- I went through a period of silence- not because I was “escaping” those around me- but I was eagerly seeking the Lords gentle voice. I have come to the conclusion that I have a tendency to just talk a lot and not pay enough attention to what my Father is attempting to teach me in life. I entered into my forest this month and let the light enter in and over throw darkness. The last couple of months have been pretty “rough” not being back home with my family as everything has taken place. Pondering, contemplating, wondering about my life and what the Lord wants me to do or more of what I can do for Him has been “interesting.” I desire to live in the “now” of life and not yesterday, or tomorrow anymore- it really can bog you down and sadly, you can miss out on life what God has given to us today- what a bummer right? I am going through death in a sense-which is hard and crazy- but that is what is happening. I am standing on the promises that I am becoming a new creation in these last 9 months. Refreshing, yet draining. Last month, I really learned that I am not in control of my life. That being stripped totally has made me a bit angry and lost. That I feel out of place wherever I go- but with God totally in place. It sounds contradicting, but its true. My love for people is growing deeper than ever because I am finally experiencing the love God deeper and wider. I feel at times awkward in loving so deep- but God tells me this is how much He loves- yet so much deeper that I can’t even fathom.
Last month a struggle I had was just this. Love. Funny how when you are learning something so deep once again, it becomes the biggest struggle for you. 24-7 all day long…the people living around you just can get to me sometimes and so I am stretched in ways that I never thought I could be but what I am yearning is happening- brotherhood and deeper love for people.
Being around only guys this past month was much needed. I absolutly love physical labor and working with these guys that I have experienced life with this past year, so community becomes a struggle after this long on the race and you really have to learn to work around the small issues and not let them become a big issue and the big issues you deal with fast, because they will get out of hand for no reason at all. Needless to say, I learned more about community and how much I love being alone (my flesh) but how my spirit yearns for community- I sure do learn a lot about God.
I sat in awe weeks ago at the lake as it rained, on a board with Nate,
in complete silence and it brought me what I had needed for a while. Peace- it resonates where we stayed. I am glad to have received this- especially with everything back at home happening. There was a lake that we would go to occasionally and there it floated- peace. As you step into the water and you peer off into the distant, you can’t help but see the mountain and all her beauty. It just stunned me- the rain that usually was coming down captivated me, the stillness of the lake echoed peace, and all I would hear… “I AM.” The Lord knows what I call home and he gave it to me in a sense. If you know me- the lake was my second home as I grew up with my family. While in silence, memories flooded me and gave me unexplainable joy. A few of them were: Easters with my family, fishing with my dad, learning how to ski, riding a jet ski with my cousin, Becca, and her dog, laughter around the campfires, singing, making memories for a lifetime. These are God- I see and feel Him in those. How blessed I really am in this life.
I hope that you can realize now, if not already, that I am being transformed daily and it hurts, but these brief synopsis are just a peak of my “life” and I am honored that you have supported me to experience this newness I am gaining from Christ. Thank you!
Striving to be more like Him,
Robby
** Also, please keep my brother in your prayers, as He is still recovering- Friday, October 3, 2008 He and my mom will head to Baylor for more information about his arm. Pray for news that will be uplifting from the Doctor, safety as they travel, etc. Pray that God will just continue to heal him- physically-spiritually-emotionally and pray for revelations to be brought to his soul. Also, pray for my dad and mom as they deal with life right now as well. Again, thanks for praying always, we appreciate it more than words could ever express.**
