I remember when the Lord asked me to serve AIM again in late April. There was no arguing or doubting Him, I just honestly wanted to obey my Father in that moment and not let my mind wonder what it meant. Maybe it was easier to say yes to serving AIM because of the season of resting I had been in or perhaps it was those countless days of weeping, repenting, and going through a little more surgery of my heart to be more like Him the months before… Whatever it was – I said yes.
I am in Honduras today, serving AIM by squad leading some 54 wild men and women. Again, something I never expected but believing it is full circle for a lot of things in my life. I am excited to see the new come out of this season of life on the field.
I wonder what people think when they hear that this is my 4th time to go out on the Worldrace, the only person to do so thus far… maybe I should get a plaque or a little 20 dollar gift certificate to Wal-Mart or even better, an invitation to the White House??
But really, I don’t want to be known ‘as that guy’ who did the race and then squad lead 3 times…but I will be. And today, I am okay with this because the Father has obviously trusted me with His people. And I rest in that.
For me, squad leading is much – much deeper and harder than what it appears. People always glamour over being a leader (especially in the Worldrace) but a lot of people seem to never realize how much weight and responsibility you carry. It can be tiring to say the least, but the perspective of which you look through, is key.
The last few months have been blessing after blessing honestly. Relationships have been more important to me than ever and I have learned what commitment in the heart of a relationship is about and what greatness comes from it even when you can’t see it!
So today, I get to rest in the mountains and today I had one of those moments of “Relationships are so flippin important” to me and I do not like not being disconnected with people back in America whom I love and care for deeply. I often run in the lie that those back at home forget about me, that I am ‘out of sight and out of mind’… which is some reality, but that lie can get me messed up bad, especially when I am having a hard day.
There are a couple of people in my life that I desire to be connected with all the time and not let distance and time get in the way. I refuse, because over the last 5 years of my life doing this stuff, I have lost relationships because of the days I was afar… it really has sucked honestly. In my heart, I hurt because of the amount of love and deep affection I have for them and the reality is that I am here, they are elsewhere. I never know what to do or think on these days that I just wish I could be sitting in front of them, speaking my heart out, being vulnerable, and knowing I am heard…
But I am being heard, I am able to speak my heart, I am being able to be vulnerable in front of all these people because I just trust the Father in the season He placed me in this time… Just one of those days you know? The price to follow Him is not an easy path, but wells of hope and life I claim!
Honduras is crazy beautiful. The ministry is amazing, Tony is a rock star, and this squad (which we ALL leave together) is absolutely amazing and I am beyond excited to watch all of them grow in intimacy and identity with the Father this year!
Paz y Amor Honduras!
