This is my story, and this is my song.
I pray as you read this that you will see what God has been up to in my life for the past month.
Now let me start with the obvious. I am alive and well. I know- I know… It has been around 3 months since I last expressed my thoughts. So, there is a lot of information below. Go ahead, grab some coffee or tea and add a biscuit to enjoy this blog (In South Africa, this is what they do which I have come to enjoy).
It is now time to share God with you.
Mozambique, Africa. Manga, where I spent the month at was a place where I found and saw God in waves of beauty. How many of you have had friends who have come back from Africa and shared these amazing stories of miracles, healing, demons being casted out of people, etc. Well, wonderful. So have I.
I have always had this problem of denying what I really am thinking when people ask me questions, specifically– if I have expectations… “Of course I don’t have any expectations for Africa…why would I?” I was denying a lot for sure. I had many expectations for this month- wanting to see all those things that I have heard about. It was about me and my pride. Oh how God had other things in store for me.
This is my story, and this is my song. In the last month, I stayed in a little 3 bedroom house- full of 20 children, 3 adults, massive rats, and 5 Americans that would be given a deeper insight of what love truly looks like from God.
A new definition of who God is and what love is- this is what I learned.
(Rabbit Trail- I will come back, promise!)
I believe that the call of Jesus is not an easy road, but that it goes the opposite way of what I ever imagined in my walk. It actually is bringing me to the end of myself, to the end of my thoughts, it leads me to a more difficult life…. which I will proudly and boldly proclaim that I desire to fully embrace. No matter the crazy circumstances I am in, no matter the intensity of the matter, I believe that He has never given up on me, so I won’t give up on Him. I was comfortable in the states with Jesus, I don’t like that- it actually terrifies me.
How can someone go to church and not have an encounter with the LIVING God? To arrive in the parking lot on a Sunday morning and not feel the presence of God? Then, add to the experience of not even experiencing the beauty of life around you and God daily? Is it really exhilarating to live comfortably in your church pew every Sunday and having plenty of apathy? You do understand that I am talking about myself; and the reason is because I am a suppressor of feelings. Here me out on this, I love the church, I love my home Church, I love the Church I have attended for 2 years in Austin, Tx. Don’t get me wrong, I just desire to see her come alive even more- I believe God is waiting on us to step up and become passionate, crazy people who desire more. Desiring more of the Jesus we have read countless times on a Sunday sitting next to your parents, friends, and even spouse. I want to meet daily the God who speaks directly to me, who gives me promises like Abraham, who gives me courage like David, who cleanses and truly makes all things new, who calls me by name? Are you feeling me here?
Here….
*I have a ton of questions about the bible, God, and life.
*I really don’t get God a lot.
*The mystery of the bible is incredible because I can’t figure it out and in that, I love it even more! (I think that is God and Him just being the genius He is :>)
*It is difficult at times for me to really seek His face and grasp the fullness of who He really is.
*I grow weary here a lot of days of being a so-called “missionary.”
Just wanted to give you some insight of how I feel, I am not perfect.
(Okay, I am back now from my rabbit trail)
We travel to South Africa now!
After a short debrief from South America, our teams were split up for the first time and sent all directions here.
The Journey to Manga, Mozambique was quite interesting.
~A 4 hour bus ride to Maputo with a stop for our visas. (Oh fun memories)
~An overnight stay in Maputo with an extremely early wake up call. (4 am)
~Arriving to a shady bus station to travel to Manga and not having a clue what was happening.
~A 19 hour bus ride which was physically rough. Five Americans with 100 Africans- that is community living guys! Tight squeezes, sitting next to Magen and Eli- basically on top of each other, a man next to me who kept falling asleep on my shoulder. HOT, cramped, and being a tall dude sometimes has a disadvantage- this would be one of those days.
~Finally the arrival to Beira (almost to Manga) then off to Dondo where we would stay and be blessed to rest for a day or so before Manga.
~Two days later, we arrive in Manga on Sunday morning where I would be revolutionized.
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The face of Christ as I walked up to Mama Rita and her family was powerful and beautiful.
It was this day that God would start teaching me about love and what it really looks like.
Church was held in this house. The most appropriate word for this church service would be sweaty. But oh so great! The harmony of their voices and the dancing…my soul leaped.
For 2 1/2 weeks I woke up every morning to love. In love with God- Mama Rita- Her children- random brother and sisters that I met along the way- the strangers on the street- children’s laughter throughout the day- playing the same games over and not becoming bored.
I just feel in love with so many things and it is only by the Father himself.
I feel in love with my teammates.
Gretchen-The gift of leadership and her deep love for people.
Teagan- The gift of logical reasoning and the capability to get it all done without complaining. Something a lot of people aren’t capable of.
Magen- The gift of an overwhelming joy/smile and her heart that breaks for people as well.
Eli- His desire to change and become more into the man and son that he has been created to be by God and his gift to love people.
All of this is only possible because of my Savior. I couldn’t see this if I didn’t receive His love. God’s love was showered on me more than words can express.
I received two bucket showers daily which were hot because Mama Rita would heat them over a fire. Three meals a day (not letting us pay for our meals), my clothes being hand washed daily after my morning run.
I cannot justify this love, and I am not going to try.
I can’t thank God enough for not allowing me to receive my expectations. I believe I would have been disappointed.
As you know, we had a fundraiser for Mama Rita and the kiddos to purchase land, mattresses, and a freezer. We had enough money come in for all of that! Praise God! The purchase of the land is in the process currently, we also bought 17 mattresses, a freezer, a years’ worth of school supply for each child, four massive bags of rice and oil to cook with, thirty-two blankets, two mops, one broom, and of course candy. We all have to have some nutrition right? :>)
We entered with no agenda, no goal, and this is what God did, hopefully you see a provider!
I can’t tell you in exact words what I have been taught and have experienced. I hope that you have read something that has really made you see God through this story. There are a few other things that I could go on and on about, so here is a quick list:
-Swimming in the Indian Ocean and being fully alive and knowing that I do have the best life no matter where my life will take me now or in the future.
-Sitting on a bench with Mama Rita and singing praise songs to my God who created the most beautiful constellations that I have seen above.
-Holding his children in my arms and just laughing.
-Crazy jump roping in the middle of the night.
-Playing the same games over and over and just laughing about it.
-Walking miles every day to get somewhere.
-Running in the morning with Jonah a.k.a. our protector who couldn’t speak English. (the oldest orphan).
-Getting the chance to hear Mama Rita tell us her life story.
-Rats everywhere. (Fun times, especially when the rat ran across my foot).
-Being cramped on buses with Gretchen sitting on my lap.
-Eli and I getting to share a tent (many great memories).
-Teagan getting her hair fixed like Alicia Keys. I loved it.
-Magen and I going crazy at times because we couldn’t “do” anything and had to sit.
-Singing to all the women who cooked and did much of the serving… “Elvira you gotta hold on me, Elvira.”
One amazing woman, twenty beautiful children and an over abundance of love which has brought me to a deeper realization of God’s love for me!
I am off to Cape Town soon in South Africa for the next 2 ½ weeks. Pray for the team as we dive in and discover a deeper understanding of God and who He is in our lives.
As we heard many times at church this past month, “I am done now and will sit down. Hallelujah!”
Love and Peace
-Robby-
