Control. It is this thing most of us strive to hold on to. We look for it in the smallest areas of our life, and we freak out when we lose it in the biggest areas of our life. This is something I have struggled with for a majority of my adult life, and if we are being honest, most of my adolescence as well.
And then God spoke. He reminded me that my control over every facet of my life was hindering His ability to work through me. I had created a mental block in my own life that kept me from wanting to experience God’s awesome power and provision because of the fear that I would no longer have control, or at least perceived control, I was never actually in control to begin with. God placed The World Race on our hearts and we knew that this was something that we had to do. We talked about it and we prayed about it for months. We were hoping that maybe it was a mistake, that we weren’t really supposed to give up our entire lives and all of our possessions to follow Him. But, it wasn’t a mistake. We truly had to surrender everything to Him. Which was much more difficult that I had anticipated.
Once we finally realized what we needed to do, we applied. That was our very small way of saying, “Ok, God, we are willing if You will send us”. There was still so much to figure out. First, we had to be accepted, and three weeks after we applied, we were accepted. Second, we had to start telling our friends and family and pray that they would be supportive and encouraging, or at least not completely against our decision, and what do you know…that happened, too. We needed to start thinking about where our dogs were going to live while we were gone and the time frame that that transition would take place. My parents offered to take our smallest dog, Tater, but there was still a huge question mark surrounding our larger dog, Duke. We knew that if we couldn’t find a home for him we would most likely not be able to go. (Honestly, we were kind of hoping for any out at this point). It is hard to give up everything you have and leave everyone you know and be uncomfortable. It is hard to surrender.
Our biggest mental obstacle was not, and still is not, finances. We know that God will provide a way if this is where He wants us to be. Our biggest obstacle was selling all of our stuff, including our house that we bought almost 3 years ago. We met with a realtor to go over the things we would need to fix before putting it on the market and to discuss how much to list it for and what kind of time frame we were realistically looking at. Our realtor looked at us and said, “If you put it on the market now, today, I have a buyer that will buy it full price without anything else being touched or repaired.” *This is the point that I start really freaking out, selling my house in February or March was one thing, but selling it now, in October, and being out by the end of November, that was crazy*
So we talked about it, and prayed about it, and we let her show the house the next day to this nice couple. They waited about a week and then told us they were going to wait for something a little bigger. Whew. Not a problem, at all. In fact, I stopped freaking out about having to sell all of our furniture and house ware items in 6 weeks and I started to compile a list of things that I could get done in a reasonable amount of time. Everything was back in my control, or so I thought.
Fast forward two weeks later, and our realtor calls again. They changed their minds. They want to come see our house again, you know, the house that isn’t even on the market yet. What happened next could only be God’s doing…They love it. They want to buy it with a full price offer. Not only do they want to buy it with a full price offer, they also want to buy almost all of our furniture with it.
At this point, I have completely realized just how not in control I was the entire time. God took our words, “Ok, God, we are willing if you will send us”, seriously. He is sending us. We are not doing this, He is. Nothing that is happening at this point in our journey has been in my plan. And that is the best part. If we can only learn to surrender to His will all of the time, He will provide everything we need.
So, here we are. October 30th. We are signing papers tonight, and going under contract to sell our house. We have to be out of our house by November 30th, and by God’s awesome grace, we actually have another place to live until we leave in July.
Our house is being sold, our stuff is being sold, our dogs have new homes, and we have a new place to live. And to think…we applied for the World Race only 2 months ago.
Surrender…It sounds like giving up, but it is actually gaining everything.
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.'” Matthew 16:24-25
“The more we surrender to God, the freer we become” — Fr. Emmerich Vogt
